He doesnt do anything to help!!

[LizzieLewis]

My other half sits in front of the computer playing games with his friends over the internet, headphones on and basically is shut off in his own little world. He works weekend night shifts so me and my little boy hardly get to spend much time with even in week when hes not working. Doesnt do hardly anything to help with our little boy and doesnt realli spend time with me other than me sat at one side of room watching tv at night and he is sat at other on computer.

I feel like im being unreasonable when i say dont stay out all day and night when he goes out with his friends, as he would stay and play ps3 for hours on end with them if he could. I just feel that he can go spend time with his friends but not do family stuff with me and his son.

Its making me resent him and i feel lonely and that he doesnt show me as much 'attention' as he used to.

Also im pretty new to the area (Bournemouth) and need to meet some friends so that i can have someone to talk to and socialise with.

Am i being unreasonable thinking that hes in the wrong, as we have had many arguements about it but it changes for a week or so then back to same old?

Lizzie x

He sounds about 17 - how old is he?

Could you book to do something and tell him to keep that day free so you can go out together?

It sounds very dull for you and ds and he needs to appreciate that he is a dad now so he needs to buck up and help out!

YANBU... of course not. What you've got is a 'kidult', an overgrown teenager that despite being married with a child still thinks he's entitled to behave like someone with no families and no responsibilities. You're being taken for granted. For some reason he thinks that he can treat you this way and, despite the arguments, nothing really serious is going to happen. This is the part you need to fix. Make the point that, since you already seem to live like a single parent, you might as well be one. Give him an ultimatum to either grow up (permanently) and pay the family some attention or to spend all his time with the friends he clearly prefers.

Good idea to make new friends and build a life for yourself. I'd also suggest getting a job (you don't mention one) so that you have some financial independence. Once you've got a social life and some cash behind you there will be no reason to keep tolerating Mr Dull As Shit...

God this sounds unbearable. YANBU.

Hello OP - 10 year veteran of being ignored in favour of the playstation here (though not anymore thankfully)

Just wanted to say I'm local to you so just pm me if you fancy having someone to rant to in RL :)

Hi, thanks for all you're support, i'm currently looking for a job and going to start some voluntary work at a local care home to hopefully start making some friends and going to go to the local childrens centre to meet other mums. He has started to stop going out for hours on end but still no offers of doing anything to really help. Yes we are a young couple, he is 21 and i am 20, but i feel a lot more mature than he is and i cant understand his behaviour sometimes, because he always says that he is so lucky to have me and our son, however he doesnt always show it.

Also there are many times when i think that i would be better off as a single parent but then it scares me and makes me think that i have failed my son which i know is ridiculous. I grew up with my parents separating when i was 5. I always strived to give my children the complete family unit, but i'm sure sometimes it doesnt always work and although i love him with all my heart and he does love me and our son, i feel like we have got stuck in a very boring routine at a young age.

xx