Can a relationship make you happy?

[tiptop2]

I know this sounds a bit obvious but I'm really wondering if you need to make yourself happy before you have a healthy relationship or can a relationship actually make you much happier?

I've recently split up with someone and the main reason was I just didn't think we were making each other happy - nothing bad, no red flags on his side of anything like that - he was actually lovely, a good catch but just something wasn't quite right. I'm wondering whether it's because I'm not that happy in general with my job, family etc. I have a massive wave of relief since splitting up and feel better already but it's early days and maybe the sadness/loss of relationship will come later.

I'm just worried that I've given up a good relationship, not because 'it' wasn't right but I wasn't right.

In my mind I think if the right relationship comes along it will just make me a happier person naturally iyswim.

Just wondering if anyone out there has been a bit unhappy and a relationship has made them alot happier and content in life?

You just need to get quicker at kissing those frogs and chucking the duds back, honey

Were you sitting under a tree at the time Flightty?

I know izzyizin I know!! I should have more faith that the duds may not be duds but they aren't right for me. It's hard when your friends and slightly controlling family tell you how wonderful he is and isn't it time I 'settled down, had kids etc'...aarrghhh..no more I tell you, no more. I'm going to be stronger this time.

Not under a tree but he was painting the ceiling. I was sort of hovering with cups of tea.

Before you know it, he fell into my lap. Amazing

Yes, I can imagine how amazing it is when a sly kick to the end of a ladder results in a hot man falling into your lap, Flightty. Well done you for spotting the opportunity to get your heart's desire

You need a tiptop time and motion study, honey

How long is taking you to kiss and assess each frog for princely attributes before returning them to the waterlily leaves?

I think if you are happy in your own skin and not desperate for a relationship you are more likely to attract the right one.
I wasn't remotely interested in men when I met DP. I had just come out of a shit abusive relationship and wanted to be on my own with my kids for at least a year or two, but then I met him and it was like a bolt from the blue. We've been pretty much inseparable ever since.
I am confident now that I can cope on my own so I don't feel like I need him, he's around because I want him to be. It's the first time in my life I've felt like that.
I agree with Flighty that it is easy, I don't have to make an effort, it just comes naturally.

too long i think Izzyizin - normally only a few months but this last one was nearly 18 months because I soooo wanted it to work...and some days were lovely and great and it looked hopefully but he is definitely not the one for me. At least I can feel ok that I haven't married/had kids with any of them!

Onwards and Upwards.

hopeful