feeling a bit rejected

[wolvesdidit]

Am having a party for a significant birthday and sent out all my invites by email. All our v. close friends have replied but people I would consider friends (ie some I have known for over 10 years) haven't even replied (about half the total people). I hate stuff like this. I take it really personally. DH says not to run after them and if they come fine and if not it doesn't matter but would you bother with them afterwards? I have a low self esteem so I do over -react to things. I never know what the appropriate reaction is. I just feel that even if I didn't want to go to a party, I'd reply politely with an excuse. None of these people have even acknowledged my birthday .

Some people are incredibly rude.

Are you sure they use their email address every day?

Sent the invites ages ago, also texted some people. I know they will have received them. Does that mean they're 'just not that into me' and I should not contact them again?

When issuing invitations for 'significant' events it's advisable to make it clear that the invite is of the RSVP type.

If your email invites didn't ask for a response it's possible that some recipients will fetch up on the night but, if numbers are an issue due to catering arrangements or similar, I would suggest you give the non-respondents a call and ask if they'll be attending.

Otherwise, simply accept that some people are ill-mannered - and that's their loss, not yours.

As for bothering with any ingrates after the event, that very much depends on whether they add to, or otherwise enhance, your life. If not, cross them off your future guest lists.

Yes, izzyizin, I didn't demand an RSVP - just stupidly assumed that people would let me know that they were coming or not. Catering numbers don't matter, it's more the feeling that I'm not important enough for them to bother to even fire off a text.

I'd just send another text to those who didn't reply saying "Hi, party's still on for Xday - need firm numbers now because of food. Can you let me know either way?"

If they don't reply to that, they're even ruder than I'd thought originally! If they don't reply, assume they're not coming.

Please stop seeing this as being about you, honey.

I get numerous emails everyday of which some may be invites to various events. There've been times when I've read my mail on the hoof, so to speak, think to myself 'I want to attend that' but, if I've had no time to respond immediately or make a note of the date/venue, I've been known to entirely forget about it - and my forgetfulness with regard to some occasions has been worthy.

Some might say that's because I didn't want to go in the first place, but life sometimes gets in the way of my good intentions which is why I now try to avoid reading my emails until I have free time to respond straightaway to any invites and also have my diary handy.

Send the non-responders a text or give them a quick call. Use IB's wording suggestion and don't labour the point. Some will have genuinely forgotten and some will have other plans - but that's not necessarily anything to do with how they view you.

In future, send printed invites with RSVP by post for signficant events.

cheers izzyizin

What Izzyizin said.
Sometimes email is a bit too casual when it comes to invitations.I had a "significant" birthday in December and printed off some invites on the computer with RSVP on them then giving them the various options(email, text, post,phone).
I sent them by post and got responses of some sort from everyone. I think by sending an invite by post it makes it more "formal" iygwim.
I think IB's suggestion is the way to go especially if you didn't ask for a RSVP.
Don't take it too personally, some will have genuinely forgotten to respond.

Have a great party anyway!

Cheers for your big day, honey.

Make this the year you resolve to work on that low-esteem of yours and you won't give a toss if all of your guests fail to appear on future occasions - you'll just think 'goody, more cake for me'

i actually avoid having bday things, because i know the thought of no-one turning up would push me over the edge! i remember being young, and every bday worrying that no-one would turn up! they always did, but i still get nervous!
i would forget about them and just enjoy your bday hun

They could easily have meant to reply later and forgot.

Why by email, though?

If they are good friends a phone call might be more personal?

Thanks everyone. I don't really like phoning people in case it is a bad time. I always contact people by text or email (as they do me now I think about it).