This is my first ever post so please be gentle.dp and I have been together for 3 years. We met when we were both living with someone else. I was with my ex dp for 8 years, but was in The spare room for around 9 months. We didn't row or anything, we were just like best friends living together. A couple of months into my relationship with dp, I told ex dp. His response was "what can i say, we're in separate rooms" my current dp told me he was in the same situation. He was married (twice before) and split with his wife and started seeing his ex dp, however, within weeks she was pregnant. He told me that he stayed with her because of baby but knew that it was wrong as she was rebound. He always claimed to be in the same situation, he was in the spare room, looking for a new house for ex dp and baby, no relationship, no affection. We moved in together and if I'm honest, have had a pretty rough time. He lied about a lot of things, covered lies with lies, was very insecure and convinced I was seeing someone else, would accuse me of being with the person, that person etc....He assaulted me in November 2009, the police pressed charges after a neighbour and my mum called the police. He thought I was seeing my ex and a row spiralled out of control resulting in him dragging me across the room by my hair, throwing me out of house and kicking me repeatedly whilst I was on ground. He was charged and is still on probation.He said that this was the first time anything like that had happened, he loves me, would do anything. We paid to attend private counciling. He was seen alone for anger management and we were seen together for relationship counciling. He told me when we first got together that his marriages had broken down because his ex's cheated on him. I have since found that not to be the case, he in fact left his first wife for his second wife. His second wife cheated in him, yet I also found out that he was cheating on her. I think his insecurities stem from the way in which he has behaved in previous relationships.I fell pregnant in march and suffered during pregnancy. I was really sick and an emotional mess for the first 20 weeks. He was working in London Monday to Friday, I was studying for my degree and weekends were full of activities with his little girl. I was exhausted. At 35 weeks pregnant, he announced that social services wanted to see us. That it was common practise because he was on probation for domestic violence. This was a lie. Social services tipped up on my doorstep telling me he had a "highly violent past" but couldn't tell me what it was, he has been encouraged to talk to me about it. He told me bits but not the full story. In the meeting, the whole ugly truth emerged. I should have left him then, but I was a first time mum, in late pregnancy and was really really scared. My son is now 4 months old. I have all the normal feelings of having a baby....especially tiredness. I try to be affectionate with dp, but if I'm honest, since the episode during late pregnancy, we haven't been as affectionate as before....probably partly due to that and partly due to new baby. Every couple of months, my dp tells me that he's not happy as he isn't getting affection. We have the same argument. I don't have any family nearby and don't have any help with little one and am tired. My dp does help with practical things but by the time he gets home baby is getting ready for bed.We went away at the weekend and had a lovely time. Came back and I was making a real effort with giving him more affection...cuddles, kisses etc. every night for the last 3 nights I have awoken early hours to find him with his hands between my legs (sorry tmi) even when going to bed early one night as was shattered, he still did it. I was annoyed this morning at 3.30am to find him doing it again and told him so. He text this morning saying sorry and I told him I suggest he leaves me alone today, not happy. To which he replied that he was unhappy, We had a fantastic weekend, felt like it did when we were first together n now look at us....I don't want, need or love him. I am trying so hard and its never enough, unless I'm having sex with him. The more he goes on about it, the less affectionate I want to be with him, let alone have sex with him. The way he is talking about me is the way he was talking about his ex dp. So how long is it until he leaves me or realises that on top of having a baby I am still coming to terms with my son being on a protection plan and how that all come about (the lies involved)Sorry it's long...this is the watered down version too. Any advice would be appreciated.