He looks at other women but is in denial

[Monica2012]

My dp and I live together. Everytime we go out

All blokes look, all women look.

Its not the looking that's the problem, it when he wants to do more than look!

So does mine, don't really care though. Can't say ive never looked at another man. Infact pointed out a vv attractive man to my DP the other day, and he agreed with me.

Puds we do that!

Why is him looking at other women a problem for you?

I agree that most, if not all, men will look at and notice attractive women. In fact, I think my 20 month old son has already started.

I also agree that most women will also look at other attractive women, and attractive men too.

I think, in general, it should be tolerated.
However, if your partner is really leering or obvious in his habits (I occasionally have to tell my OH that turning his head to continue watching can be a bit off-putting for me and, possibly, the girl he's watching!) then he might want to reign it in.
More importantly, if you have told him it bothers you, he should reign it in.

Sorry I accidentally clicked to send!

So everytime dp and I go out together in the car, any pretty girl we go past, he has a look, a proper look! Like turns his head look. He doesn't do it to grannies or men so I know what he's doing. I have pulled him up about it many times but he's always denies it and makes
Me feel like i'm being paranoid!

Tonight we drove thru his ex's village, and every girl we went past, no matter if she was hot or not, he had a good look! Was he looking out for his ex? He's currently in a mood with me coz I asked him to stop doing it!

And, when I say reign it in, I mean he should tone it down a bit out of respect for your feelings.

Do you feel insecure? I like to see it as my DH having an eye for attractive women and he that he took a liking to me as an attractive woman! (just as I took a liking to his rugged good looks!)

Ok, have read your post now.

He shouldn't deny it, that's just daft. However, I assume he is denying it 'cause he thinks (rightly?) that you will be annoyed that he looked at another girl.

I also think that if I were driving past Ex's house/village, I'd probably be on the lookout for him, just out of curiosity.

It sounds like you are insecure in the relationship - looking at women does nto generally mean he is about to go out and try to do anything with them.

Think of your own behaviour - I bet you notice attractive men and women, I htink it's very human to look at attractive specimens!

Your DP is an arse

Is he disrespectful to you in other ways?

I disagree with the whole 'he's only looking' attitude. When it's every pretty woman and done so obviously that you notice, it's really rude.

"done so obviously that you'd notice"

So, he should conceal it?!

I do agree that it is rude and disrespectful to do head swivels to look at other women when you are with someone. And I do think that since OP has mentioned it upsets her, he should curb the activity.

That's just fucking shit of him. No excuses, no bollocks about how all men do it. All men don't do it when they're with their partner - they show some respect and consideration. And fucking shit for the women being leered at too - does anyone actually enjoy it when some passing tosser cranes their neck at them?

Don't you look at attractive men? Surely everyone looks?

Er, yes he should conceal it!

Not that hard actually.

OP, I read your other thread about him.

He seems like a bit of a womaniser to me. What do you think yourself?

I'd be concerned if he didn't look.

He may be denying that he looks at women going by, but I wonder if you are actually the one "in denial".

You can't control him, OP.

If he wants to be wingman to his skeezy mate on the pull, he will.
If he wants to turn around and stare at the arses of young girls walking past, he will.

No amount of jealousy or outrage or pulling up on your part can stop another person doing what they feel like doing.

The only person whose actions you can control is yourself. So: what do you want to do about it?

Dp will notice an attractive woman, but discretely, I wouldn't be impressed with openly leering or letching, mainly because it show so little respect for the person who has caught his eye and he is too much of a gentlemen for that.

I sometimes find it hard not to turn my head to look continue looking at a particually attractive person of either sex, most peoples eyes are drawn to beauty.

Dp when trying to tempt me off mn to come and watch a dvd with him, lured me with the chance to sigh over Benedict Cumberbatch.

Both of us are secure enough to not mind a wandering eye.

He doesn't sound very nice at all, OP.

Do you have children together?