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Original poster

should I get divorced?

8 replies

MightyNice · 19/04/2012 14:40

Separated for 15 (16?17?) years. I think the main thing that puts me off is the expense even of DIY and having to show that I've made some effort to track him down - or worse, making some sort of contact.

Other than being free to marry again are there any benefits, psychological, of divorce do you think?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/04/2012 14:47

Yes, it draws a line under unfinished business and means you can put it behind you and stop thinking 'must get round to that some day'. Doesn't cost very much at all if it isn't contested and you go the DIY route. If you use a solicitor, they'd be the one tracking him down and making contact.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/04/2012 14:48

And... of course... if you're still technically married and you happened to die he would have a very good case for claiming half your assets.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/04/2012 14:51

I found it really great to get divorced after being separated for years. I didn't realise there was a weight on me, but there was.

TooEasilyTempted · 19/04/2012 14:54

If you're still married then I suppose technically he's still your 'next of kin'. If anything were to happen to you perhaps he'd get a say over things like funeral arrangements, he could lay claim to any assets you have, etc. I think even just in terms of legally, for peace of mind, I'd make the effort and divorce him.

solidgoldbrass · 19/04/2012 14:55

You never know, he might have managed to die and save you the bother.

Original poster
MightyNice · 19/04/2012 15:02

He's still alive, we just don't have an address for him. That's what I was wondering MrsTP, just never seems a great priority financially for some potential intangible benefit.

Also is handy way of making sure I don't accidentally, impulsively, marry anyone else.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 19/04/2012 20:26

Well, start a little freedom budget for it. Stick a tenner in now and then. If you really care you will out enough in, if you don't have any money at the end of a year, you probably don't even though I know this is no way to make this kind of decision. I had a great experience with it as well. On my way into the Courts to get the paperwork, I was feeling a bit Sad and weird. One of the security guards (when I asked where I could get the divorce forms from) said, "bloody hell, who would want to divorce you?". I said, "actually, I am divorcing him". Made my day!

Pandygirl · 19/04/2012 20:30

I think it's a really good idea, emotionally and legally, and it really isn't expensive if you DIY. (Less than £500 easily)

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