It is really difficult
My H can get an erection but somewhat less impressive than before. He didn't notice things going wrong as early as I did. He says that when he orgasms it all feels the same. Given that its the ability to get and maintain the erection which is the problem then this seems reasonable because its the nerve endings which relate to pleasure not the blood flow.
Even so, to me it did seem a bit strange that he did not notice. I think it was just slow conditioning over time. Then any erection is lost once acheived, paticularly if I start to come. To be honest I think my activity squeezes any blood flow back out and so ends the matter - frustratingly. Now we can do other things to one another but this is not we want. For us becuase we always do most things together and spend a lot of time in one anothers company the idea of not climaxing together is upsetting.
My H focuses partly on the mechanics of the situatuation - man thing - engineering problem. Also being an engineer, I don't have too much of a problem with that and he is probably right. Becuase of other things, I think he is likely to have a cardio vascular condition.
Fair enough, but in the meantime we also have to live with this and there may never be a resolution. Its almost worst becuase he is athletic - goes running and seems to be one of thoese middle aged men who look better the more rugged they have become than his babyfaced youth. In short, outwardly, he seems to have so much to offer. Its such a come on. Unfortunatly, it dosn't end up like that.
Then whilst the Levitra does work, it is just a one off until the next time. We both want a love life rather than a series of orgies with one another and lets face it with 3 teenagers in the house these are pretty difficult to acheive.
Also becuase we already do other things in company with one another its not as if we can substitute sex with something else. I also liked the compliment of being obvioulsy the object of his desire. We are aware that he could have a far more life threatening condidtion and we could be dealing with something far worse in life but that dosn't mean that we don't miss what we have always had. We have both sat around in tears about it - being glum etc.
Then with teenagers being teenagers they carry on with their concerns, crisis etc. Not realising that their drama is intruding upon something to us which is a very personal grief. I don't expect that to be different but is hard to put up with.
I look at older relatives and think that they must have reached some accommodation in this direction at some point. I also think that their old age love is much to be admired. Yet currently I think, Not for us, Not now, Not so soon in our lives!