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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Date coming up.....

48 replies

Lovemy3kids · 17/04/2012 21:37

Short but advice needed as not sure what I should do.

Met a guy online, we started chatting, we swapped mobile numbers and have been texting. We have agreed to meet in a week, but the last time he text me was Sunday and I have not heard from him since. We usually text each day and I am not sure if I should leave it for him to contact me, or if I should contact him. New to the dating scene and not sure what to do.....any advice?

OP posts:

Fairenuff · 20/04/2012 08:18

Normally I would say just send him one last text 'Are we still on for Sunday?' and leave it at that. If he doesn't reply or messes you around then forget it and move on.

But as you met him online and haven't even seen him yet (or spoken to him in person?) then it's probably a non starter. Nothing to do with you, just him being an arse. So leave it. If he gets in touch after all maybe give him the benefit of the doubt but be very wary. You don't need all this hassle. Let us know how it goes x

Losingitall · 20/04/2012 09:02

Nah - when men are interested (especially those you meet online) they text text text. In my experience (lots of losers online) those that are players are players from the very beginning. I'd leave it to him.

ImperialBlether · 20/04/2012 09:46

Losingitall is right - if he wanted to text you, he would have. He hasn't, ergo he hasn't wanted to.

Of course if you text him he'll go out with you, but do you want a date knowing he couldn't be bothered even getting in touch?

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 20/04/2012 09:47

Update.......he's just text me - said sorry for not contacting me but he's had a busy week. Haven't replied yet - but will do within the next hour or so...:)

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 20/04/2012 09:50

Well that's resolved then!

Losingitall · 20/04/2012 10:00

Good:)

Enjoy!

(But how busy a week must it have been for him no to find 10 seconds spare!)

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 20/04/2012 11:52

Losingitall - he said its been a busy week and then the next txt was that his nan passed away. OK I have been hurt in the past and am finding things men tell me hard to beleive due to unfaithful husband....but I suppose I have to take this reason as being the truth and see what happens when we meet :)

OP posts:

SerendipitousHarlot · 20/04/2012 17:08

So did you reply to his text? Have you made arrangements for next week?

beatenbyayellowteacup · 20/04/2012 17:14

Phew! So when's the date?!

I think you have to at least give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 20/04/2012 18:13

I replied to his text but not had a reply since 11.15 this morning. We are due to meet on 28th but no firm details put in place. Guess its a waiting game again as I was last to txt!!! :(

OP posts:

izzyizin · 20/04/2012 18:16

Mmm... I'm gonna reserve judgement until you've met him

izzyizin · 20/04/2012 18:18

I didn't scroll down far enough to see your last response!

Unreserved judgement says 'don't hold your breath for a meeting'

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 20/04/2012 18:19

I me too izzyizin......if we get that far!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 23/04/2012 12:08

Update....we have been talking a lot via txt....am meeting him friday night....or am i just tempting fate by posting this - lol!! :)

OP posts:

izzyizin · 23/04/2012 12:21

Fate and me Oscar Wilde have a lot in common - they can resist anything except temptation

Whatever's written in the stars, do please be sure to come back with a warts and all update so we can take the piss out of him commiserate if your date doesn't work out.

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 23/04/2012 15:27

LOL.....I will izzyizin :)

OP posts:

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 27/04/2012 21:24

Update......date didn't happen :(

We've been txting daily and have spoken on the phone. Date and time fixed-then my son came down ill and did not go to his dads this weekend but not life threatening-I arranged for my mum to sit and then at 3.30 today (we were meeting at 7.30) got a txt to say that his babysitter (his mum) was ill and couldn't make it. Part of me wants to believe it-but part of me doesn't believe it as he has only txt me once since cancelling. Will leave it there for now :(

OP posts:

shoegal34 · 27/04/2012 21:36

:( i'm sorry you didn't get your date

Que sera. I would just leave it as you say, and if he is genuine he will try to rearrange. Let him make the effort and if he doesn't he's not worth it.

The dating game is a minefield sometimes. All worth it when you meet someone nice though - which you will x x

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 27/04/2012 22:15

Thanks shoegal......I'd already told myself I would wait for him to contact me....and if he doesn't then so be it. Not sure if I can keep walking through this dating minefield though! x

OP posts:

shoegal34 · 27/04/2012 23:21

You can! :-) Try to keep a pma and don't let the f*ckwits get you down ;-)
Sending good luck vibes x

izzyizin · 27/04/2012 23:25

I reckon he's married, honey.

Join the gang and have a laugh here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1459582-When-life-throws-you-potatoes-make-chips-Be-disappointed-but-never-defeated-Dating-thread-No-13

Original poster

Lovemy3kids · 28/04/2012 08:31

Do you really think that izzyizin? Gosh ......TBH the thought never entered my head and I suppose, naively, I believed what it was he was telling me about him and his kids/life. Having been lied to so many times by STBX, I told myself that not everyone will lie to you and you have to start believing some people....seems I might be wrong to adopt that attitude!! :(

OP posts:

shoegal34 · 28/04/2012 10:37

I think you have far too little info to go on to know that - there could be loads of different reasons he cancelled. Whatever the reason though, he's proved himself to be unreliable so far, which isn't great. Don't get cynical yet op, there are some nice men out there :-)

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