How to help support friend

[cathkidstonbag]

I'm hoping she doesn't read mums net!

Friend has been married for 15 years. 2 DC. Up until the Summer of last year her DH was the perfect DH, their marriage absolutely ideal. He started changing about then. Obsessed with his appearance, searching from her and the DC. It's gradually got worse, many incidents where he has made her so unhappy. Last night when she asked him if he loved her he said he thinks so. Not yes or no.

She thinks he's having a mid life crisis. She keeps asking what she should do and I have suggested seeing a solicitor, etc. but nothing I say is helping her. I'm being emotionally supportive, offering practical advice. She just wants him to love her again.

How can I help her? Im out of ideas :(

Detaching not searching!!

Anyone??

I don't think you'll have any problems with your friend recognising herself on here tbh OP. The situation you describe is fairly common as far as I can tell from what you've said.

If you want to know how to support your friend, then just be there for her when she needs you. A shoulder to cry on, a friend to help out with practicalities if she asks, someone she knows she can share wine with can turn to.
Not actually anything specific. Just be her mate. You shouldn't be suggesting anything to her in my opinion. (Unless you suggest she posts on here with what she is feeling?) Apart from that do as she asks and let her know you are supporting her as good friends do.

It's just hard when she asks me what she should do.

I have been on the verge of leaving my DH for years (totally different scenario) so she seems to think I'm the best person for advice.

She is so depressed and unhappy.

You can't tell anyone what to do in their personal life. She sounds a little blinkered if she's attributing such a sea-change in personality to a mid-life crisis but that's entirely her perogative. "I think so" is such a cruel thing to say to someone so you can certainly point that out. If she is depressed you could always recommend seeing a GP.... although drugs can't cure a bad relationship. Otherwise, listen to as much as you can tolerate and when asked 'what do I do?', say it's really not your call.

I have been in your position and for the life of me could not say to my friend "I think your DH has got another woman" because obviously I didn't know for sure, and it would have devastated her if I had said it!

I just provided a listening ear and was there for here when it all came out about his affair, and offered her as much prctical and emotional support as I could.

(Incidentally she thought he was going through a mid life crisis!)