Feeling too delicate for AIBU- but am I?

[scentednappyhag]

DH works nights, and has been sleeping this afternoon. DD (18 months) has had an incredibly noisy, whingy afternoon, and I've tried my best to keep her amused, but I'm crap and he hasn't slept well.
He got up at 6:30pm, slammed doors, threw his cigarettes on the table, slammed kettle and mug etc- obviously stressed as he's tired but made me feel really on edge.
All he's said to me since he got up has been 'I'll be on my computer until I leave for work.'.
He spends most of his time on it anyway, so I wasn't too surprised, but am I being silly for feeling quite tearful about the whole thing? I just feel like I can't get anything right, and I must be dull as anything for him to never really want to talk to me :(

SNH: Your H is acting like a spoilt, selfish prick, no wonder you are miserable. So he's 'calmly' told you to shut up and know your place, has he? Because nothing is more important in the family than him? While night shifts are hard work (the closest I ever got to mental illness was after a run of night-shift work in a job where I was on 24/7 callout) that's not a licence to mistreat your family and friends. Make a list of his good points, and if all you can think of is 'he brings in a wage' it might be time to point out to him that if he is so miserable living with you and DC he can sod off and live somewhere else and he will still have to contribute financially to your lives.

SGB- sometimes I think about telling him to sod off for exactly those reasons, but he is good in some ways. Just not as much now as he used to be he's selfish and grumpy, but he does love our DD and is good to my family. Oh, I don't know, still feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning

Feel free to PM me whenever u need.

SNH: I bet he 'loves' DD as long as he doesn't actually have to put himself out for her. And i bet the increase in grumpiness and selfishness started around the time she was born.
THere are some men who simply consider themselves entitled to submission and service from women - they percieve women as existing for men's benefit, and these men can appear lovely and lovable up until the first baby arrives and all of a sudden the woman is not putting the man's wishes first. So some men start having affairs, some become spiteful (verbal abuse, even physical abuse) but a lot just withdraw into total selfishness.