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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can a push ever be 'jokey'

21 replies

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 14:48

recently left a controlling/EA man. I didn't realise how bad it was until I left and am remembering more and more as I reflect. He quite often used to block my way out of rooms I was trying to get out of and jokingly push me over (usually onto the bed or sofa, rarely onto anywhere that had the potential to really hurt me...though he did accidently sometimes). He also sometimes asked me to put my hand up so he could punch...again in a 'jokey' way, but it sometimes hurt. He did stop that after I refused to let him do it again.

I never thought there was anything wrong with that behaviour, but clearly there is.

He never did it in an argument and he also never lashed out. It's like he did it when I was doing something else (i.e. not giving him attention).

Is there any way that that behaviour is not very wrong? What if he had never been verbally abusive and was the perfect DP in every other way? He wasn't, but just say he was for the sake of argument..

OP posts:
sleepyover · 15/04/2012 14:56

It could, I guess, but it doesn't sound like it in this case. If I joked and accidentally hurt someone, I'd be horrified and never try to joke like that again.

'Joking' insults are common tactics of EA. Sounds like these 'jokey' pushes and blocking your way were nasty ways of displaying his power. Sounds like you are well rid. Hope you're recovering from the whole relationship.

doctordwt · 15/04/2012 14:57

No.

He enjoyed trying out the feeling of using force against you.

Well done on getting rid.

doinmummy · 15/04/2012 14:58

I think you can tell when a push is meant in a jokey/messing about way.
Controlling men rarely (IME) mean anything in a jokey way, especially not a push.

pinkpyjamas · 15/04/2012 15:01

Play fighting is only play fighting when all participants are having fun.

Using your physical strength to stop someone from leaving a room when they clearly want to is bullying.

If it didn't feel jokey to you, then it wasn't.

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 15:11

I am recovering, but almost every part of my brain has some defence for every aspect of his bad behaviour. Usually that involves blaming myself or thinking it's not THAT bad. But I guess this kind of relationship only works if the dickhead gets away with it! Not anymore though.

OP posts:
sleepyover · 15/04/2012 16:03

In the aftermath of a relationship like this, I think it is normal for your natural reactions to his unreasonable behaviour to rise to the surface. You've been conditioned by him to normalise his unreasonable behaviour, either by thinking 'it's not that bad' or thinking that you were somehow to blame. That's a big part of the EA. You might find in the months/years to come, something popping into your head, and thinking 'That was out of order - he really was a wanker'

Congratulations for breaking free!

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 15/04/2012 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 17:40

I guess I just agreed that it was jokey at the time, because I always accepted that he knew better than I. Going to struggle with that one for a while I think. That said - I am pretty proud of myself for getting the courage to leave though am worried about the future (the logistics and legal side of disentangling our lives).

Myname - we don't have children but he would do similar with young relatives. I guess that also made me think it was acceptable. I can't wait for the day I truly believe it wasn't!

OP posts:
feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 17:41

He sounds like a prat too, btw.

OP posts:
OneHandFlapping · 15/04/2012 17:46

If it didn't feel like a joke, it wasn't. It's how you felt about it that matters, not how he felt about it.

AnyFucker · 15/04/2012 20:59

"playfighting"

"jokey" pushes

"just falling short of actually hurting you"

you need to stop questioning this...he was escalating his abuse of you

well done for getting out x

MagsAloof · 15/04/2012 21:01

In an old relatonship (years ago) that was definitely abusive, the abuse started out with the 'jokey' blocking my way and pushing me on to the sofa, often accompanied by a 'jokey' grope of my privates and forced snog. It got a lot, lot worse.

solidgoldbrass · 15/04/2012 21:03

Disgusting fucking horrible man. WHat he was doing was reminding you, all the time, that he could hurt you and sooner or later he would, and that you would be expected to accept it.

MagsAloof · 15/04/2012 21:05

Just to add, my DH of 10 yrs has never pushed me or put a hand on me. he has a great sense of humour, but I dont think that includes hurting me.

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 21:57

I don't think he ever would actually hurt me. His behaviour never did get worse in the decade we were together. This was my first and only relationship though, so I normalised and accepted his behaviour pretty quickly.

I am sorry if I sound in denial. I'm struggling as I spent almost half my (young) life with this guy and as a result have no context, nothing to compare to and no sense of what is 'normal'.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/04/2012 22:04

what you desribe isn't "normal" love

any person that loves another shouldn't push them around

it is that black and white

please re-tune your twat radar for the next one that comes along

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 22:06

I know that, I do. I will keep repeating it to myself until I truly truly believe it.

OP posts:
elastamum · 15/04/2012 22:07

He is an abuser. Can I suggest you buy and read the Lundy bancroft book 'why does he do that?' It might help you make sense of what has happened in your relationship.

Have just read it myself. Am not in an abusive relationship BTW, but I bought if for my au pair after she split with her horrible boyfriend. She has spent days glued to it and I am hoping what she is learning might help her not repeat the pattern in the future Sad

feellikeiamgoingmad · 15/04/2012 22:09

Ordered...should be arriving to my desk tomorrow!

Thanks for all the replies.

OP posts:
elastamum · 15/04/2012 22:43

Hope it helps. Its not your fault. You deserve better Smile

Duckypoohs · 15/04/2012 23:27

I don't think so, I remember seeing my friends in relationships when I was younger where "play fighting" and "rough housing" etc was the norm, it puzzled me then and I recall asking my Mother about it.

No it's not normal and they were/probably are abusive idiots. I can't imagine I would enjoy being pushed over or forcefully tickled or having my hand punched in any way shape or form. I remember being tickled as a child and asking for it to stop, because after a certain point it ceases to be enjoyable and is just horrible.

The abuse thing comes in when the person wants it to stop and the other person carries on I think.

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