My mum died a while ago, very tragically. She was a complicated character and things had been very bumpy between us over the years, but our relationship was on an even keel before she died.
One of the reasons she was quite screwed up was a dreadful childhood...her father left when she was a baby and moved to America where he remarried and had more children. She never saw him again, despite trying to contact him, and her own mother treated her badly quite a lot.
My dm had a string of affairs when I was growing up. My df stuck by her and was distraught when she died.
A few years ago, after my dm's death, one of her half-sisters from America tracked me and my dsis down. They had spent a long time trying to trace my dm and her dsis (aunt a).
Aunt a wanted nothing to do with them, but I knew my dm would have done, and after thinking through my own feelings (my grandad had abandoned her and didn't sound like a pleasant character, so I wasn't sure how I would feel about meeting them), me and my dsis met them and keep in touch by email.
Fast forward to now, and my df's sister (aunt b), my dm's sister in law is going on holiday to America and has asked for aunt a's contact details. They are obviously not blood relatives.
Aunt a knows nothing about my mum's extramarital affairs, aunt b does, and understandably wasn't too amused at the time about my dm's treatment of my df, her brother.
So, aunt b, who can be very small-minded (although fundamentally a good person) wants to meet aunt a and has asked for the contact details.
There is no reason to think aunt b will tell all to aunt a about my mother, but I'm uncomfortable about putting them in touch..probably I being irrational, but that's how I feel.
Sorry this is so long, thanks for reading.
I'd be grateful for your thoughts