Would like to read people's thoughts on this..

[Derpette]

Just reading a topic then which included a woman being angry about her husband watching porn - and confronting him about it.

What's your stance on it? Do you 'ban' your other half from watching it? Do you let it slide or maybe you enjoy it with him/her?

Personally I dont see any harm. It's natural in my eyes. If fella rather did watch it alone I wouldn't mind. And I enjoy watching it from time to time with him. Dunno if that's openmindedness or weird...?

Sorry if someone of you disapprove if the subject matter but hey ho.

Hey I don't think anyone's prudish. If anything I feel, like I say, that I'm missing something as it doesn't bother me. I did work on a mag and it was all done in a very above board and not scary manner but it was a small, independent company that published a few mags and made a few DVDs so I realise that's not the whole industry. It's each to their own imo and every relationship is different. It really doesn't bother me though and I find some of it pretty sexy!!

Derpette, I didnt 'have a bad experience'. The relationship ended for different reasons and some timeafterwards I became politicized and better informed and you could say that the scales fell from my eyes with regards to the porn industry and how vile it is.

I dont doubtfor a minute that some couples have good, non-damaging experiences with porn, eigher seperately or together (although god knows, there are many more women who are unhappy with their partner's porn use and dont feel empowered to say so)... But thatis not the point. The pointis that yconsuingporn, you arefeeding anindustry that exploits many millionsofwomenaroud the world. For every Hollywood Soft Porn Barnie, the are 10,000 trafficked or pverty sicken women (and girls) with no real power or choice. Do you know whichones you andyouareman are wankingover?

By consuming prn

Effing ipad

what Mags said.

i feel it's a sad reflection on human beings when we enthusiastically consume a product that's come out of misery and degradation.

where it's OK to do something because it's FUN and SEXY and OOOH i'm SO not a PRUDE... never mind the ethical implications of where your money's going. oh noooooo. having fun is WAY more important than that.

in any case, also, porn has been shown to reduce male sexual satisfaction. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem

perhaps that's enough of a reason to avoid it. never mind the misery of sex trafficking etc

Yeah in fact I do. We use a single website (I won't name it). All women are English or American. All women apply to be in the videos - anyone can apply. It's all well above board. Some of the more dodgy looking sites I won't even entertain.

I often read these threads, and I always wonder why its not deemed acceptable to simply be uncomfortable with your dp watching other women have sex?

Oikopolis - I watch it because I enjoy it. Not to prove I'm not a prude and because OMG IM SUCH A NUMPTY I NEED TO SHOW I LIKE SEXYTIME, which is what you're implying.

Not all women in porn are there because they're abused and forced to do it. There's always documentaries about the people who are on the wrong side of it but the people who enjoy it and make a good living out of it are hardly given their say. This doesn't mean that its ok, of course I'm not saying that at all. But there is the other side of it which is good and clean. That's the side I enjoy

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1186736-2001-channel-4-documentary-on-porn

this is the documentary about the British woman going to America to further her porn career

some points:

• just because women apply to be in videos doesn't mean it's not exploitation and abuse
• just because someone is from Britain or America doesn't mean she's not been trafficked

don't be too too naive about this sort of thing... the stereotypes you've been fed aren't necessarily a reflection of any sort of reality

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1186736-2001-channel-4-documentary-on-porn

do what you like love, i think you're being foolish is all

i agree with the poster who said they would take it into account prior to entering a serious relationship because next time ivery much would.

lots of men dont see the harm but what i see porn as is getting gratification watching women being subjugated by pretending to enjoy sex. the more i have thought about this the more damn creepy i find it. genuine, consenting, real couples having sex on camera is a bit different though its not my cup of tea. i also find the way pron has influenced what men think they ought to like/get women to consent to very disturbing too :-(

Oikopolis I am not being niave and I have not assumed that 'just because they are from Britain and america' that all is well.

If you frequented the site you would know what I mean. As you don't, I can't tell you how I know they aren't.

Anyway yeah I will do what I like. I will carry on watching the 'safe' porn :)

I'll jus add that I'm not some sort of porn freak I'm talking like every blue moon.

I wonder how many women who just hate the thought of their partners watching porn... Are simply using this degrading and exploitation aspect as an excuse and actually don't even care.

derpette - how are you guaranteeing the ethical - ness of what you watch exactly?

I talk to the people in the videos, it's more like a professional community than anything else. They have meet ups etc. You can go and participate. Theres road shows. I know all this doesn't guarantee ethicalness but if you research it's all fine. It's not like those other sites where it's a random mix of videos, origins unknown and questionable.

I think you can tell the ones who are definitely in it out of choice because they like sex once youve seen quite a few.

I think that there are a LOT of problems in the industry which need to be addressed for sure. Porn is something that is never going to go away though, pretty much like the drug industry. There will always be a market for it

I am not saying people are using exploitation as an excuse, but it does seem to been taboo to not like your dp looking at other women (or men) and masturbating!

I think that women are made to feel bad if they don't like their OH watching porn simply because they don't want them looking at other women.

For me it is both things. The whole sex/porn industry does make me feel ill. I also do not like the thought of my oh spunking all over/drooling over/getting turned on over the images of other womens breasts and vaginas. I don't apologise for that.

I wonder how many women who just hate the thought of their partners watching porn... Are simply using this degrading and exploitation aspect as an excuse and actually don't even care.

oh dear
is THIS where this thread is going?

I think this is a 'horses for courses' debate.

Derpette FAR from blaming my dislike of porn on the fact that women are abused during the making of it...I was naive enough to think it was all fair...women chose their porn career so fair enough...I know now how wrong I was and get this...I USED TO LOVE WATCHING PORN.

Now it sickens me. I got educated about it.

I think that you can see the issue both ways. How it affects you, in your relationship and also on a wider basis on how it affects society. You can care about both.

agree AwkwardMary, i also used to love watching porn.

I think its fine not to agree with it. Weve all got subjects close to our heart, and theres many reasons someone might not like it.
I think its ok to like it too, but some of it is undoubtedly questionable and theres many genres that if i knew someone watched I'd be horrified.
Ive got my own personal limits really, and luckily me and dp have very similar attitudes on it and what parts we think are ok and what parts are wrong. Weve had the discussion before, and about prostitution etc