friends

[poinsetta]

Can I ask where anyone has made new friends. I have many old good friends but they don't live locally so any arrangements have to be a long-standing one and a whole day/ weekend. I am very lonely as a single parent and would like to meet some friends in a similar situation locally as everybody I know is in couples. I just don't seem to be the type that people warm to (I am a bit shy so appear standoffish perhaps) but it is really getting me down. Obviously being a single parent and full time working I can't go out much either! I did join up to Gingerbread but have been too shy to actually go along to any of the meets..yes, I know that is not really helping myself!

I met a few new friends at college (at the age of 29) and then a lovely group of friends at university.

Do you have friends through work?
That's where I made most of my local ones
I've got a couple of school mum friends but my closest ones are either through work or old friends who, like yours, live further away

All sorts of places - Church, gym, voluntary work, school gates, through hobbies/clubs, just chatting to people out and about. Obviously helps that I am not at all shy and happy to chat to anyone . Always be open minded, I often come across instances where people want to meet 'someone exactly like them' - I have friends of all ages from early 20s to 80s, all doing different things - that's what makes friendships so interesting .

I do have 1 work friend but again she is married so not around at weekends / evenings. I don't seem to be able to crack into the school mums things, in part because I work so am not at the school gate that much and in part I don't know, the whole single mum thing I suppose, again most of them are married so do family stuff!

I'd avoid the whole "school gate mum" thing like the plague.

poinsetta - don't assume that all married people do 'family stuff' all the time, I do have a DH but love meeting up with female friends at weekends either with or without children. Why not suggest meeting up for a walk/picnic/trip to the park etc. You could always offer to have someone's child for tea and then invite the mum in when she comes to pick up?

ChickenSkin - why? Aren't you making assumptions? . I have made some friends at the school gates, others I avoid like the plague .

What are your interests? Are there things you might like to do that you could take your DC to? I am involved in morris dancing and the folk scene which is very family-friendly, and if it wasn't for that lot I would be quite lonely - the majority of my other good, longstanding friends are childfree and though I do get to see them, it involves arranging childcare so I can't be spontaneous.

My experience of school gate friendships:

"Oh Sarah!!! hi how are you?? btw what reading level is little Joe on?"

"OMG did you know Sarah's Joe is only on level 3 reading books!!?"

"Oh Hi Sarah! isn't little Joe doing well! Level 3! wow! I mean, Olivia is now on level 6 but she's always been way ahead, hasn't she"

No thanks!

I must be a lot luckier than you at the school gates I hang around - my DS has been to three different primary schools and I have always met a few nice friends - or perhaps I am one of those dreadful mothers myself .