I rarely post on here, sorry!.. been lurking for a while...
Last night after a few gins I sent my mother several texts telling her I want no more to do with her... I had no replys, and I deleted them before the morning
She was horrid to me as a child, threw food in my face, strangled me, banged my head against a wall.. i could go on and on.. also used to play mind games/manipulate me, still to this day.. she denies ALL of this and she really believes Im making it all up!!!!!!!
She has always been a right bitch to me and I cant be bothered to write everything here..
Im unemployed ,Married Mum of 2 .. no friends, no social life..
She makes me miserable when I see her, speak to her., ... and i can tell she is only pretending to be nice, around my husband she will put me down constantly, but make it out to be a joke, and tells me Im sensitive....
she is 53 her friends are all around 20- 24, Im 29.. she has them over for girlie weekends and goes shopping with them, goes for weekends away, .she never asks me, she adopts my brothers girlfriends as her own daughters, pampers them, does their nails eyebrows , waxing etc, ... She is so manipulative, I tell my brothers and they agree to my face.. but when I fall out with her ... they dont speak to me either! (they never had any of this) She doesn't invite us to family evenings,(auntie,uncle,cousins) or makes sure we dont get invited.. like BBQ.s.. pub quiz's.. she pushes me out.. we constantly fall out/dont speak for a year.. then after 3-6 months of talking .. its back to square one..
My Nan died lately of an illness.. I loved her and we were close.. My mother wasn't talking to her for over a year before she died..she was ALWAYS jealous of how well me and my Nan got on.. but now she goes over the house taking my Nan's belongings, expensive handbags and all the expensive jewelry, and has the cheek to tell me that my Nan gave them to her before she died, which I know full well is a big fat lie ...
My mother actually told me several times she feels nothing for my Nan and didn't love her .. she doesn't seem that bothered at all that she has died.. I miss her tremendously.
I want her out of my life, I never want to see her again, this is going to be difficult, as she works where I live.. I want to erase her from my brain!
and now I will never see my brothers, .. I definitely went about it the wrong way, Im just so miserable, I have all this negative emotion, and anger for her...I think Im losing the plot to be honest!... Im not sure what response Im after actually... I have suffered from depression, and had the pills a few times.... i dont know if Im depressed .. I cant afford therapy, looked into it and its not cheap, we are very skint! Been on a waiting list for counselling , I was pregnant when I was called for my appointment, was happy at that point so didnt bother ... how can a mother be so vile, I love my kids soooo much, they make me happy, I live for them. SO sorry this is long and boring and depressing.. :(