Am I a humourless bint

[KittyAnne]

...to find my FIL 'encouraging' my DP to cheat on me really fucking awful?

He's doing it in a supposedly jokey way. Nudge nudge wink wink shit.

For example, an attractive woman has moved in next door to PILs and FIL was telling DP to go and say hello- 'yeah go and get to know her son heh heh heh'.

This happens a lot.

I'm NOT being paranoid. When I called him on his comments the last time he laughed and said 'oh I was wondering when you'd jump in'.

I'm not a jealous, possessive person. I don't set myself up for these kind of comments. He doesn't do it to my BIL.

I'm not massively confident. Baby body et al. I should just ignore him but I find him generally an insensitive prick but thankfully, DP isn't like him.

DP doesn't respond to his comments.

Better to use the lighter, funnier ones than the angry ones: he is trying to wind you up, by the sound of it and when you refuse to be wound up and turn it back on the other person with a sweet smile, it annoys the crap out of them and you win. Because he'll either get angry enough to say something so horrible that it shocks everyone else, or he'll have to swallow it and move on.

"Christ Jim Davidson I didn't notice you there!"

no! just sing the benny hill song every time!

izzy, I don't think it's too heavy in the face of continuing and repeated digs at the OP

I think it will be effective

I could have said "sexist twat " but toned it down to "buffoon"

and you have to have a little dance that goes with it - eventually everyone will join in.

to think we grew up with this shit on tv?!?!

yep saf, but most of us grew up and past it

Treat him as if he's in his dotage - ostentatiously make sure he's not sitting near a draught, find a throw to put over his knees or round his shoulders, and seize any and every opportunity to make remarks along the lines of 'of course at your age you can't be too careful...' coupled with a tale of doom that befell a gentleman of his age because he didn't do x, y, or z.

Scour the -hilarious-- ads in the weekend papers or search eBay for thoughtful gifts for him such as nose hair pluckers, knee warmers, hernia belts, false teeth jars, etc.

'It's hard, but try not to give him one.'

(Am I the only one with a puerile sense of humour..?)

and carry on films!

i actually wonder what percentage of our sexuality or arousal responses were programmed by this kind of viewing? must have had some effect on all the poor pubescant kids viewing it.

but yes - growing up and past!

(Love izzyizin's idea...!)

Why doesn't your dp reply and tell to stop being disrespectful and a knobhead?

He has said before that he doesn't see any harm in cheating. A boys will be boys attitude if you will.

He was also derogatory about my pregnant body, suggesting his son needed a thin, younger woman who wasn't ravaged by pregnancy- though not quite so eloquently put IYSWIM. so don't feel you need to hold back when it comes to the suggested put downs.
(which incidentally are killing me)

Although what I'd really love to do is tie him to a chair and stick him in a room with you lot for an afternoon :o

DP is a shit for not saying anything, I completely agree.

me and him would get on well, I think

have you asked your DP why he doesn't counter his father's put-downs of you ?

Have you addressed this with do, why doesn't he say anything? Why does he think this is ok?

Yes, DP needs to speak up.

{ "I suppose EVEN viagra couldn't help YOU now" }

I have indeed. Half the time DP isnt even listening to what his old man says. He justified it by saying 'he's old and his opinions are a bit fucked up but he is only joking'.

When I said it upset me, DP said I was being silly.

Yeah that pisses me off but I can't force DP to see it from my point of view.

I've lost count of the number of times I've had to sit on the loo and seeth at family events. But or some reason he only picks on me... Not his other son's wife- who is a mouthy wino. He thinks she's the bee's knees.

He always points good looking women out to my DP. Okay, fine- no harm in looking- but I feel it's crass.

I think the old git is feeling increasingly emasculated with his advancing years. His son gets together with a woman who has a successful career and a few opinions of her own (waves) and he feels the need to undermine that.

FYI I sit on the loo for privacy not because his comments make me want to crap

your SIL is a "mouthy wino" ?

be careful kitty, seems like your FIL's crass comments might be catching

He doesn't see the problem with someone upsetting/disrespecting you?

Clearly, if you start responding in any way about these and he looks askance at you you can come back with "I'm feeling hormonal and, in any case, it was only a joke" and it will be fine