Well timed break-up?

[mumof4sons]

Stbexh and I go to court on Monday (16th) regarding the marital finances. Have been trying to settle this for 2 years. When he walked out of the marital home he immediately set up house with OW. I find out today that he and OW have recently (last week) decided to go separate ways (I question that) or live apart probably, because she doesn't like our 4 boys. I get a letter from my solicitor saying that he has 'revised his income needs' because he has to set up a home for himself - 2 years later! I am livid. He is now saying he needs everything from saucepans to a bed.

Is it just me thinking that he should be going after OW to set up his home? I mean when he left me, he wanted nothing. Furniture and other household items were offered - he said 'No'! He also 'sold' his car to OW, but still drives it and says he needs a new one.

I am just so angry. I feel like he is trying to manipulate the court.

He is either trying to pull a fast one with the property and finances or get away with something else while your attention is distracted trying to protect your possessions.

How long was he with the OW? Did they have a household together? If so he should be claiming half of her stuff surely? If they were living together as a couple aren't there some financial responsibilities now owed by her to him?

If you had a verbal agreement two years ago that he refused household possessions then that should stand. Was there ever anything committed to paper or emails?

There are timeframes within which he has to work when dealing with the courts. If the court hasn't had adequate notice of the new circumstances he can't really spring this on the judge on Monday. You can ask for more time to find out facts, such as whether he and the OW supported each other financially, etc. (joint accounts, credit cards held together), what happened with the car (he will need to provide the title, receipt, tax trail to do with alleged sale, etc)

Is is the First Appointment? If so, nothing will be settled then and you will have plenty of time to ask him to explain his circumstances further and provide evidence. My FA was on 23 Jan but the Financial Dispute Resolution hearing is next week.

Pie, this is our FA. I really don't know what to expect.

Math, he left 2 years ago and he moved in with OW the day he left. I feel he should be going after her to help him set up his home. He has been spending two years of his wages paying rent, utilities and home furnishings and now says he needs everything. I don't think so.

At my FA the barristers did lots of to-ing and fro-ing and I never even looked my ex in the eye, not even in the court room. We had about an hour before we were called into court. The judge didn't have all of the paperwork, even though it had all been filed. I thought she was fab...his barrister said that they didn't have any problems with the Form E and the judge looked sternly at him and said "Maybe not, but I might have." She also refused to allow his questions about my Form E that related to my new partner and holidays I have taken.

The judge asked him to provide details of six suitable properties for me (I left the FMH and moved out with the children) and asked me to do the same for him, since it was clear to her that he was living in a house that exceeded his needs (5 bedrooms, only has kids 2 nights a week). We also had to instruct valuers, but in the end we agreed property values between ourselves.

It was disappointing (and expensive) to feel that the FA was just one step on a long, slow path, but hopefully the end is in sight now.

Good luck with yours!

That is what I think too, Mumof4sons.

He can't bulldoze his way through this. Don't panic.

Hope your court hearing went well :)

how did it go ?

Any, Pie & Math, it went great thank you. I got everything I wanted and asked for over 2 years ago.

I got the house (100%) and contents, the car (was in his name), an endowment policy worth a considerable amount and the smallest of his pension policies. It was a 60/40 split. I am now financially free of him - he only has to pay child maintenance and I have a court order for that too.

He got a a smaller endowment policy and nothing else. Most of his share is tied up in his business and his pensions. Poor thing doesn't even have a car - he sold it to OW. lol

I am so happy. Looking forward to the Decree Absolute.

Pie - good luck to you. Let us know how it goes for you.

WOW!!!

You must be feeling so relieved.

That's brilliant news! Sounds like you got what you deserved.

I'm sure it is a weight off your mind.

Mine is Friday morning...will let you know!

That is great. So when women who are contemplating breaking away from their shitty husbands start worrying they will be left with nothing, they can come and read your thread !

good luck, pi

Best wishes Pi.

Thanks for all the good wishes...I think mine went well too. My aim was 50% of the equity from the marital home, I got that plus another £25k. I also negotiated a 20% increase on his original offer.

The annoying thing though is that had he made an offer at any point since valuations were agreed in February, we could have negotiated on that basis and saved ourselves the expense of being represented in court today. My barrister was £600!

He has three months to pay me, and he agreed to pay uni fees for the DC in future too. All I have to do is remove the sneaky charge I put on the marital home

Glad for you, PI

Good news then. The barrister fee sounds like a good investment.

So glad it well for you.

Here's to our Decree Absolutes!