first sex for 3 and a half years

[blownitagain]

I just spent 24 hours with a new man. We had sex and now this morning I feel very strange and vulnerable and like I want to cry. I thought it might make me miss my ex husband but I'm not thinking about him.i just want it to be more OK than it was..

Maybe emotions are taking over, especially a long time without.

Mind you I haven't did for 15 years!! So hell knows how I would react!

Maybe you need to relax and enjoy this a few times to get back in the'groove'

Hell, I'm a bloke, what do I know?

DTD not did! See can't even get that right

be kind to yourself, OP

was the sex ok ? Something to build on ? I wouldn't expect it to be great the first time with all that potential baggage and water under the bridge. Make sure your expectations aren't too high.

hello, INABT, long time no see

Was it uncomfortable? That would put me off and I'm sure after 3.5 years you'll feel understandably tense which could have made it bordering on painful? Hope not x

Hey 'body' don't say I'm a bloke what do I know? We are open to all here, and blokey opinions are valid ( unless sharing things like Pms experiences. You'd have to be über meterosexual to join that discussion)

Hi AF,

See you are still giving the same old good advice.

Kiss angel, just playing safe because deep down I am a coward.

I did nearly seven years "celibate" in my first marriage. It was like a switch that had been turned off? If that makes sense.

When I eventually did the deed again. It was very emotional for me, in some ways a validation that I wasn't the "frigid bitch" my ex called me or that there was "something wrong with me" which although I knew that this wasn't the reason it didn't happen for this length of time, when you are unhappy, can stick with you.

It was certainly more of an emotional thing for me than physical when I met my new partner, it took me 6 months to be ready and I did cry. It wasn't brilliant to start with, lots of nerves and pent up emotion does not exactly set the scene. But lovely man that he is, he perservered.

Lets put it this way, I made up for lost time! And it makes me smile, but in a sad way to think of the time I wasted being miserable, I should have left him sooner!

It will get better OP.

I think you are feeling completely normal, it's a big emotional thing, opening up (so to speak)