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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Joint finances without a joint account?

1 reply

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 12/04/2012 14:47

I'll try and make this short! DH and I have recently overcome a few ishoos regarding finances - I'm a SAHM and had no money of my own, after much discussion and some wonderful advice from mn's we agreed to add my name to his account and treat all finances as joint.

This has worked really well for around a month, I've not spent much on myself (neither of us do) but I've been able to go food shopping or out for coffee without feeling like I'm running to daddy asking DH for money!

However.. DH has quite a few debts and the repayments are getting unmanageable. He is about to hand them over to a debt management company but we need to stop using the joint account because he has a loan with the same bank which will be declared as a debt (they'd just take any money we have in there as repayment according to DM Co - i know this to be true as I use them too) - my credit rating is pretty dire and we've been declined for a joint account with another bank.

DH needs to hand his debts over so we have enough to live on, but the downside is we're now back to having separate accounts. (for at least 6 months until we can apply again.) so.. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can make our finances equal in this way without me being given an 'allowance'?

Suggestions so far include DH giving me £100 and me asking for more once it runs out, or transferring a set amount each month. My suggestion was a prepay credit card that can have 2 names on it and us putting spare cash on that either of us can use for groceries etc.

Trying not to feel down as this situation is for the best long term, but feels a bit like we're going back to square one.. I suppose the important thing is our attitudes to the finances has changed (we both now see it as OUR money even though I don't earn) - any help appreciated, what do you do?!

OP posts:
2ombie5layer · 12/04/2012 14:54

Me and DH have never had a joint account and I cant ever see us having one either. It works out well for us. I know how you mean about having to ask him for money because it feels as though you are asking for permission even though you are not. I had this for a while with DH when he was receiving everything. Even though he would never say no or make it difficult for me, it was just a PITA. Also even now I have my own money I dont hide anything from him.

The way we work it is that I get child tax credits and child benefit while he gets DLA and carers allowance. ATM he gets income support, but once I find a job that will stop and I will get my wages. We dont hide anything from each other and we both usually have an idea about how much we have in each other's accounts. I assume you get child benefit and tax credits, can these not go to your account? Otherwise the £100 allowance sounds like a good idea.

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