Serious money problems affecting relationship

[cuppateaandasliceofcake]

hi, namechanged for this.

We are going to lose our home, already missed 2 mortgage payments and cant afford the next one due. we are already on an interest only mortgage and have spoke to the bank and we cant have a payment holiday. Im on maternity leave atm and my husband isn't working, was self emplyed, had no work for months and cant claim any benefits now due to being self employed. He's applying for every job going but having no luck.
Weve been rowing more and more, everything he does annoys me as we are constantly together. He keeps talking to me like crap and lies in bed every day. I know the sensible thing to do is leave him but we used to have a good relationship, i think he may be depressed but he would never go to the doctors about it.
I just dont no what to do, the council wont house us as we still own a property, and we've no money or references to private rent. he's burying his head in the sand about it and has a go at me if i mention how worried and stressed i am.
I am at the point of just walking away, taking the kids and going to the council for help as a single parent and let him deal with all the financial mess.

thanks for letting me get this off my chest, im not sure what anybody can say but i needed to tell someone. none of my friends or family know and tbh im too embarrassed tell them.

It's hard when you are under so much pressure from every angle. Would you going to work help if he can't find a job?

Can you cut your maternity leave short? Can you make room for a lodger? They're the only two ideas I have right now. But hopefully you will be able to get better advice from someone else on here.

Im pretty sure you can get your mortgage interest payments paid after 6 months of arrears

www.redundancyexpert.co.uk/redundancy-keeping-up-mortgage-payments.html

I'm sorry, it must be awful.

Can you go back to work?

I don't think it would be fair to walk away from him and leave him with the financial mess. You got into this situation together, now you need to pull together and find a way through.

You are right to be annoyed with him for burying his head in the sand, but you need to start working together as a team, not going it alone.

If you can scrape together the money for private rent then you should get lots of housing benefit at least. Do you have anyone to stay with for a bit, or anyone who could loan you some money?

Can self employed people not claim any benefits?

You can still get some benefits but not all.

You can also I think still say you are self-employed even if you have no money coming in. In that case you are working to bring in new business.

OP I hope you have gotten good advice from CAB or looked at Entited To....

Thanks for all the replies, if you recognise me or my other user name please dont out me.
i cant go back to work yet, i had a stroke 4 weeks ago and have now got a few health problems, im not when i'll be upto going back work tbh. my husband can cope with our older dd and toddler son, but he struggles with new babies.
Weve looked into the mortgage interest help, unfortunately because we dont/cant claim IS, JSA, ESA etc we arnt eligable.
My mum has got a spare room and i no she'd put us up but there just isn't enough room, my husband doesn't speak to any of his family apart from his nan and she lives in a 1 bedroom bungalow.
I just dont no what is going to happen .

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Have you gotten any professional advice? That's awful you can't get more help.

I think you'll have to stay with your mum for a bit while you try to sort out housing. I know it will be crowded but what else can you do?

How long before you will actually have to leave your house? You need to stop wondering what will happen and come up with an actual plan, get some more advice. It sounds like you only have a few options so you'll need to just pick the least worst one.

I really feel for you and it's likely the pressure you are under is causing relationship issues. My DH and I usually get on so well but when we've had financial issues we are so irritable with each other.

I think there must be a way through this for you so please don't give up yet. It does seem if life has thrown you some tough challenges BUT you can get through this and life will get better.
Have you thought of contacting CAB and Shelter for advice? If you have been ill shouldn't you be on paid sick leave rather than maternity leave?

I also wonder if posting on the moneysaving board might help as there seems to be lots of experience there.

Ok, get yourself some professional advice from cab or CCCS (type into google, can't seem to link). Are you paying any other debts that are preventing you from meeting your mortgage repayments, for example? Also, moneysavingexpert website has an excellent forum where you can get some great advice.

I really feel for you- it's a very stressful time for all of you. It does sound like your husband could be suffering from depression- I personally wouldn't make any big decisions regarding your relationship yet if these money troubles are your only problem but I appreciate how bloody frustrating it is for you to feel like you are in this on your own.

Just be aware regarding the council- from what I know from a relative's situation they don't have to house you unless you meet their 'homeless criteria', but do speak to them and see if they can offer any information, and also shelter who have previously been mentioned.

Really good luck OP, fingers crossed something works out for you.