Bit of background: Three weeks ago DH walked out on me and our 3 DCs (DTs 9 and DS 2) to be with someone else. We'd been together 15 years and married for 10. I was just so happy with him and thought we had the perfect relationship. Turns out he'd been "falling in love" with her for 6 months and screwing her for nearly a month. The whole situation is compounded by the fact that about two months ago we moved into a big house which we were sharing with OW and her DH and DCs (some of you might recall a thread I posted last year when we were thinking of going into it: Long story short, we did). So when it became apparent that the other couple's marriage was in trouble, I did my best to support her, not minding when DH was spending massively long periods of time out with her because I assumed that he was lending a friendly ear. I cooked meals, did the family's laundry, looked after their DCs as well as my own - basically played unpaid housekeeper and surrogate mother whilst all the time she was out having sex with DH. When he finally told me, my world fell apart. It was like being hit by a train. I know I probably should have seen it but I just couldn't. I trusted them both completely. Needless to say, I'm devastated.
DH (and OW!) went over to see his parents (they live overseas) a few days afterwards to tell them what had happened. My relationship with ILs has always been a struggle on both sides. We're just very different people and we each find the other very hard work. They think I'm cold and aloof, I think they're shallow and boorish. But there was never any open hostility and we maintained a sort of truce for DH and the DCs' sake. I told him to assure his parents that no matter what the situation was between me and DH, I would always make sure they could see the children and that they would always be welcome in my house. AIBU to imagine that they might have contacted me? Even if not to see how I'm doing, to ask if the children are all right during such a stressful and traumatic time? I know DH is their son and they're bound to side with him, but I seriously doubt even he could have spun this to make it my fault. He did exactly the same with his best friend the day before and the first thing he did was send me a lovely e-mail to say how sorry he was and see if I was OK. Even SIL, who I've always got on quite well with, hasn't been in touch. Not a phone call, text, e-mail, nothing. It's not as if I really need any support from them - my own family and friends have been amazing - I just feel really hurt that they've cut me off like this. I have asked DH why they've stayed away and he says they're "Giving me some space". That doesn't explain their apparent lack of concern for the children though does it?
Am I being uncharitable towards them? Should I be contacting them? I really wouldn't know what to say even if I did. Can anyone think of any logical reason or justification for why they're staying away? I know in the scheme of what's happened it's pretty low on the list of things to worry about, but it's just really bugging me. Any advice?