Feeling crap after seeing XP, how do others stay strong?

[elfgypsy]

Damn the bank holiday, I resorted to seeing XP after feeling really lonely and now I feel worse, how do ppl get the strength to hold themselves when there is no-one to turn to during tough times? I feel like as a mum I just hold it all together but there is no-one to hold me if I need it, my mum is having radiotherapy at the moment and understandably really wrapped up in that and has been worrying since last autumn about the cancer lump she had removed, I am also worried about cancer coming back and tho I want to spend time with her we don't really get on and if we are both stressed we may have an awful fight and getting to her is a 7hr journey for me and dd who is 14 months.

I am slowly building up networks with ppl but it feels fragile, I don't want to scare ppl away by seeing them when I am feeling down unless i know them really well and there are few ppl I know beyond acquaintance status. The groups help but during the hols they are all stopped. My dd is lovely but when I feel worn down I feel crap about myself and can't enjoy her. I know I need more support and I work at it when I can but there is so little energy left over when I have finished managing my life as a lone parent. I hope this gets better, I keep thinking it will and there are days it does but the dark days are always lurking close by.

I have been on the relate site and there is free chat which is good, I would recommend to anyone feeling similar.

Sorry for rant, just feeling really on my own today and for the last few days.

Everyone needs support.
Come and chat to us here whilst this wave of loneliness passes.
Re relying on new friendships - how would you feel if any friend came to you and wanted a shoulder to cry on or an ear to grumble in to?
You'd be there for them, right?
So even if it's just a plaintive wail via text, get in touch with a RL person and strike up a convo.
xx

It is really tough being a single parent... How long have you been single for?

Diversion is how you cope. If you have no friends to talk to and no family, divert your attention with something absorbing. MN, a book, a trip to the shops... anything that stops you mulling things over and over in your head and going mad in the process. Keep making efforts to make new friends. Probably wise not to tell them all your private business too quickly... gossips don't have signs around their necks, unfortunately... but being worried about your mum's treatment is pretty safe conversational ground that should get you plenty of sympathy.

It does get better and it helps to have little things to look forward to booked in the diary. Leave the ex in the past

Thankx for hearing me, life would be so much harder without the net, I have been separating from XP since I was 5 months pregnant but it seems like a long long process, she is with someone else now and it shocks me how fast she recovered and moved on. I agree with the diversion to stop the mulling but sometimes I need to get to the bottom of why I am feeling so bad which seems to involve some delving before i can understand myself and let go of the nagging thing underneath...today I had a root canal at the dentist and I think that was feeling scary, there seem to be so many layers sometimes to wade thru.
I have a nice thing booked in tomorrow and some time off, hope to use it wisely and not get caught in busyness ( I need to plan my house move which is happening on 27th-think I've been worrying about how the hell I am gonna find the resources for that too)

Thanks again for kindness and sharing
x

I think it gets easier as the DC get older too, being a mum is generally easier as they get more independent & you meet mums at the school gates, lots of wknd parties etc so you get busier.

Keeping occupied helps lots.

Try & do something nice when dd is in bed, like read a nice book or watch a film, bath with glass of wine etc?

Glad to hear you sound bit more positive anyway.

You're feeling bad because your relationship has broken up, you're managing solo, moving house, worrying about money, worrying about a sick mother. In the 'Top 10' of stressful things you score pretty highly so it's no mystery if you're unhappy. Delving and understanding yourself in this situation can quickly become an unhealthy introspection and then depression is a serious risk.