Not sure if I want to type this, as it makes it all a bit real.....I'm a working mum, with 2 gorgeous children who I pretty much raised alone after ExH left when DD was a few months old. Last year I fell head over heels for someone, and was pretty convinced it was mutual - we got engaged, big wedding planned etc. Anyway, I found out he had been going behind my back in a pretty major way. We had a massive bust-up, wedding called off etc, and then did the old "goodbye" sex thing. Anyway, after a week, I decided that love was enough, and we decided to make a real go of things. Just over a month later, I found out I was pg, something we both had wanted. Only I can't make a go of things with him. I am tormented by thoughts of what he did, who he did it with, when he did it etc (and I found out a huge amount when he forgot to log out of the computer). Everything he does now makes me seethe with rage - he is unreliable, manipulative and untrustworthy. I feel like an idiot for pandering to his whims in the early days, and an idiot for thinking he was worth a second chance. So, I am about 9 +4 and really really happy that I am having a baby, but terrified about what the months ahead will bring.
I am waiting til next week's dating scan to let anyone know about the baby - and I guess I am pretty scared of family reactions amongst other things!
Am I wrong to end the relationship now? I can't stand him anymore - everything he does reminds me of the cheating, and totally lack of respect for my feelings. Everything he does reminds me that he is pathetic, immature and unreliable. Why didn't I see it before????
I know I will be a good mum to the new baby, as I am to DS and DD, but am already feeling guilty about the impact of this on all of us. Why was I sooooo stupid not to realise something was going on way before I did, and why was I so blind? Why are men (or at least the ones I have ended up with) such parasitic wastes of space????