Online dating. My first 'meet' was a hideous nightmare.

[ArseCrack]

We'd been chatting for two weeks. Finally met up at a country pub. He was wearing scruffy jeans that were at least 3 sizes too big for him and had a hole in the knee and he wore a massive old (not fashionably old) woolly jumper that again, must have been about 3 sizes too big. I felt uncomfortable with him because to be frank, I was ashamed to be seen with him. I had dressed up, made an effort. Most people in the pub had made some kind of an effort even if it was just a nice t-shirt and jeans but this guy looked like he had been auditioning for the part of Wayne Slob.

So we sit down, I tell him straight away that i can't stay long due to unforseen circumstances. He asked me what interested me. i said travelling. He said "oo me too!!" I replied "cool! where have you been?" and he said "nowhere. yet. But I'd like to" he asked me what places I wanted to see the most. I said Thailand, New York, LA, Peru etc and then asked him where he'd like to see. He said Thailand, New York, LA .... oh and Peru maybe

I asked what hobbies he had. He said none. Seemingly realised that wasn't a great answer and then added "oh actually, mythical creatures!". I replied "that's your hobby? how?" and he replied "I just err, I just like them".

An hour later I made my excuses and left.

PLEASE tell me they're not all losers??? do normal men use dating sites or am I wasting my time? I mean, as if you don't even dress decent for a first "date"!!

Aw I suppose I was a little negative.
That made me laugh out loud. Im sorry! Coming back from the loo to see that, see what I mean by the cheek of it. Do these guys honestly think this is a turn on for us? My experience has definitely been an eye opener.
Just read some positive posts and well done ladies and good luck for the future. Im sure there are some lovely guys out there, its just finding them.
I m a little fed up of these frogs but one day I might try it again ;-)
POF is a definate no no though!!

Oh Arse - poor you. Am snorting at mythical creatues as a hobby for a grown man!
I've had disasters & I've head really good dates. Some you win, some you lose. My first, when I was newly raw & only recently divorced (after my H had run off with the OW!) turned out to be married. I was so livid, he ended up with a lap full of Chablis!!!!
You'll get better at weeding out the crap ones.

Colditz - I put on my profile I was only interested in meeting men my own age or older, as I'd already had my fingers burnt by experience with exBF who was the same age as me and finished with me after 7 years because he didn't want children and I did.

Of course I didn't want to scare dates off by raising the issue of my biological clock on the first date ;) but on the other hand didn't want to waste my time or theirs if they were clearly at a different stage in their lives - and I did get a few comments from people who contacted me along the lines of 'so you're a bit picky about the age of your date, why is that?'

DH is about a year and a half older than me and the age gap between us is fine, but I don't want to imply all young guys are just up for a fling and nothing more, a friend of mine has just married her long-term BF who is much younger and they are very happy.

Out of my close friends, I'm the 2nd to get married from meeting someone on a dating site, and have a third friend I suspect might follow soon...so it does work!

That's really sweet Colditz

How did you answer that question Marshmallowpies?

Aah this is bringing it all back, don't give up though there are good ones out there! I had some horrific (though hilarious for my friends) dates before I met DH. He had just messaged me and we were chatting when I got a message that said "I've not read your profile, but do you fancy slamming?"

Ignore the dickheads, it took a while but I found a good one in the end, just set the bar high and don't waste time on anyone that plays games.

ionysis not sure exactly what I said, probably tried to find some kind of discreet way of saying "I think I have more in common with people my own age'.

I certainly didn't refuse to carry on chatting with younger men online & if I'd had a 'spark' with one I would happily have met him, but none of them really clicked with me.

Tbh it was always a bit of a mystery to me why anyone would click on my profile & contact me - am sure this happens to everyone at some point, but in a few cases I got messages from some really random men and had to wonder 'have you even looked at my profile or are you just firing off hundreds of messages into the ether and hoping one of them gets a response? Why pick me, otherwise?'

(Met DH on EHarmony by the way, where there was none of the 'browsing profiles' business - which ought to help weed out the randoms. However he was the only decent candidate I met via that site, by a long chalk!)

You could say "kissing" the frogs can be funny and certainly eye-opening, or even character-building. But it can also be dangerous (if you are feeling vulnerable) and an annoying waste of time . And Plenty of Fish should be renamed Plenty of Jerks or Plenty of Freaks. In fact can we actually call PoF that from now on?

pmsl at the "liking mythical creatures"

i met my dh on a dating site (speedating) but HOW did you get to meeting up without knowing what his hobbies are or what he enjoys doing in his spare time??

i mean, i only had a few emails before meeting (don't believe in all that online romance nonsense) but even then i knew where he went on his last holiday and what he did in his spare time..

Just to clarify, it was some weirdo who messaged me with the slamming comment, while I was chatting to future DH. I told him, we bonded over the loons on dating sites (they were both on POF as well )

Inatrance, it did read like it was your DH who sent you the slamming comment

A bloke I had been speaking to for a while messaged out of the blue "Can I lick your pussy" I told him I didn't have any cats then of course pressed block/delete

The moral of this story is- make sure you have some proper email exchanges or tel conversations before you meet up.

Most people I know who internet date spend a reasonable amount of time telling each other thier interests and hobbies before they meet in RL.

I don't. Exchange a few emails, then get a meeting booked in. I hated the first couple of dates, where you got to like them over email and text message, and then you meet them and there's no spark.

I met my gorgeous boyfriend online. He came straight from work so was in a suit no scruffy clothes, and I was gutted when the barman told us they were closed and we had to leave, neither of us wanted to say goodbye. That was 3 months ago and he's just fab. So no, the Internet is not full of waste of space dipshits

Mythical creatures.....otherwise known as normal blokes on dating websites.

Proper guffaw at MissFaversham.

I did a bit of internet dating a few years ago. It was variously disastrous. First date ended with me trashed and him saying "I don't think we should ever see each other again", second had teeth at right angles to where they should have been (shame, he was otherwise nice looking and a lovely bloke), third told me halfway through date that he was a drug dealer before getting his current job.

Several friends have met their partners/husbands online but I'm not sure I'd ever give it a go again. Going to rely on the old-fashioned friends-of-friends approach.

Well I'm becoming disillusioned with it all, don't think I can be arsed with it right now.

At least you've made a complete stranger me laugh (MissFaversham v funny too.)

My sister went on one last week. She made her excuses and left after he spoke with his mouth full and pointed his fork at her while eating! I can imagine her face was a mixture of

at Miss faversham.

I'm just back into internet dating after a few months off. Last site was not great, felt I'd met all the dateable ones & moved on after 6 months so didn't renew paid membership

1st date, bloke didn't look anything like his profile pics (full head of hair in pics, large bald patch in rl), and let me pay for lunch the cheeky fecker. Also 'embellished'(sp?) his job on his profile so I wasn't impressed at all! Had a few nice-ish dates, but nothing that made me want to see anyone into the serious bits!

Now joined pof as a few friends are on there. At least its free! I've just set the filters to very high, and delete most of the messages I get. can't be doing with two word text-speak messages from supposedly grown men!

Have two dates lined up for this weekend, and know that at least one of them is a nice bloke, as a friend met him a few weeks ago (he doesn't know thats why I messaged him!) Other one seems nice too, we've text a few times and he seem's very normal!
I'm sure will be fun but am not expecting to become MRSKL anytime soon, just having a nice time dating

Every loser and weirdo you would never look twice at in real life, or even cross the street to avoid, is to be found internet dating.

There are a very few decent(ish) ones. But they are the vast minority, and it's more of a fluke than anything if you stumble across one. It is also worth bearing in mind that the normal-ish ones (who frankly stick out like a sore thumb) are often well aware that they are a cut above the usual dross, and will totally play you to their advantage. A lot of them are not even looking for relationships, just a series of conquests - one shag and they're onto the next woman.

My best advice is to have low expectations, then you can only be pleasantly surprised :)

A bit strong hatesponge !

I figured that since I am nice and normal, my male counterpart was to be found online...eventually. We're now saving up for a house

POF = Plenty of Freaks!! lol

I had a POF account listing looking for friends not relationships so not exactly dating / looking to date as such but of the 4 guys I chose to meet they were all great guys 3 became the most fantastic friends and the 4th became my DP.