I am the ONLY single person I know.

[akaemmafrost]

Was going to name change for this but couldn't be bothered.

I am sitting here waiting to put my dc to bed and then I'll be alone like I am every day and night. Most times it doesn't bother me but was just thinking about EVERY SINGLE PERSON I know and how they will be having dinner together then settling down to watch tv or whatever, all cosy and happy.

My ex DH was an abusive arse and always chose being out drinking over us so in truth I have been alone for about 12 years.

I always pull men and get lots of attention when I go out but it never goes further because of my personal circumstances, I have a disabled child and not much Childcare and obviously no single mates to go out with.

Its just hit me how alone I really am and always will be.

Sounds like you're goiing thru a tough time. You've defo a narrower field to draw from, and so's mine. Just have to soldier on I guess. But things change and pass- circumstances and moods- so too will they for you. Soon, I hope

Thanks for replying. Yes I suppose I need to be more proactive. I was at my parents this weekend and they are so content and happy in each others company. Just made me a bit sad really because at my age now I know it will not happen for me. I suppose I'll get used to it, just hit me a bit hard tonight when I realised it.

I know how you feel. I used to sit there on an evening and think about all the lovey dovey couples cosied up on their sofas and feel tearful that every night, I'm sat alone.

In reality though, life isn't as cosy as it seems 90% of the time. Me and my ex looked like a cosy couple on the outside - but on an evening I would sit in the bath for 2 hours just so I didn't need to go near him. I hated him. He hated me. How we didn't end up killing each other I don't know!!

I still spend my evenings alone and it is hard sometimes but I'm assuming my day will come. Just got to enjoy life while we still have it. I recently worked in a cancer unit and when women younger than me are being told they have 6 months to live whilst they cradle their 2 year old - it makes me realise if not having a bloke around is my biggest issue, I'm bloody lucky.

How do you know it won't happen for you? my aunt has recently married again and she's mid 50s.

Well chickenskin that has given me some perspective that's for sure. I am very lucky really and yes things can look very Cody and different on the surface.

cosy

Sorry akaem, was probably a little deep there - it just really changed the way I looked at life. It's precious.

But at the same time, I DO understand how you feel, because I still feel it sometimes.

Last Christmas was awful. I spend an hour with the kids in the morning whilst they opened their presents and then they buggered off to their rooms to play with new games etc and I sat, on my own, all day. I cooked a big dinner that nobody wanted to eat and watched a shit film that had me bored to tears by the end. I am absolutely dreading next Christmas.

Wow- Chickenskin mid 50s eh? There is life in us oldies you know! LOL.

I know someone who had 2 new partners after her DH died, when she was 70+.

Funny how the young see us as old :)

OP instead of looking for dates in the normal sense, could you try to make freinds through clubs, and maybe organisations like PHAB- do some volunteering or go to some events and meet people?

Sorry amelia

I could, it's just Childcare is an issue. I can generally leave the dc with my parents for the odd overnighter but can't commit to anything regular.

Thanks for replying to me, it does really help.

Amelia, I choked on that, too! It was as though it was the biggest number ChickenSkin could think of!

My FIL had a "ladyfriend" and he is 86. They are living in sin and everything!! You are never too old OP

Has not had!! Blimey I've killed her off

I'll get my coat ...

In my defence I was merely trying to think of people I knew who had gotten remarried at an erm, more mature age to make the OP feel better!

Has anyone got a better spade I can borrow please? cheers.

Stories of ladies with 6 months to live cradling their two years old means that I am sitting here with tears in my eyes.

I too want to say that not all couples are sitting there being cosy. H and I have serious problems in our relationship and never ever sit there doing that. Mostly the TV is on, computers are on, and nobody is doing any talking. We then go and sleep in different rooms. In some ways actually being alone rather than in a situation where people think you are ok but actually you are not, would feel better. More honest and as if I had more control over my life.
Anyway, not to diminish your feelings aka. I too think you will probably meet someone when you least expect it, just concentrate on your own amazing and precious life in the meantime (and after you have met them!).

I feel like that often too Emma. I also regret having been alone, which i was really, for so long whilst married. It's not that I'm lonely now - I have great friends - but I miss being touched.

Thanks, chickenskin, it does put it into perspective. My friend died when her first baby was 10 weeks old. In light of that I don't have anything to complain about. She'd have given anything to be alive to see her boy grow.

I know stories too of people meeting partners later (!) in life. In fact my friend's widower met someone new unexpectedly and his new partner had been a single parent for years. They have been helpful to me over my separation and he believes you can meet someone you're better suited to if it's when you're more mature than when you're young.

There's hope for us all and there's more to life than sharing the sofa in the evenings.

Hi,

Hope you're feeling a little better. know how you feel and it must be very hard. I don't have children o is a bit easier. You need to try to take control of it though. Don't know where you're situated but you could look up sites such as City Socialising which organise events for people to get together. For people to make friends, meet people, etc