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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm still upset (all meanings of the word) from Saturday night.

10 replies

atosilis · 09/04/2012 15:50

All 3 daughters came to stay with us on Sat night. DD1 with tiny baby DGD, DS3 alone and DD2 with her partner. DD1 and DGD were in a small upstairs bedroom, DS3 in the sitting room. DGD started to cry inconsolably and we decided she was getting very hot in the small room - had to keep door closed because of the dog. We moved DS3 up in to the small room and DD1/DGD into the sitting room. DGD wouldn't stop crying, was going red, screaming, kicking her legs and not feeding (BF). I took her and rocked her to sleep in my arms.

I said that I would wait in the kitchen for 10 mins, once they'd settled in case DGD kicked off again.

While I was waiting, I heard steps coming down the stairs. It was DH who had been drinking all evening.

I smiled and thought he'd come down to see if DGD had settled.

Him - "What the FUCK is going on? What the FUCK are you doing down here?"
Me - "SSSSHHHH, we've just got DGD off to sleep in the sitting room.
Him - Rubbish, she's upstairs, you're just down here avoiding me and to annoy me.
Me - SSHHH, they had to change rooms.
Him - I don't believe you,
Me - "NO, don't go in there"
Him -
Poor DD1 leaps out of the campbed - "What's happening?"

Me - Don't worry, Dad's confused, he's sleepwalking.

He apologised the next morning when I told him what had happened, but I'm still Shock

I've just come back from shopping in a large local town and he's lying down, watching football and drinking red wine. I can feel my blood beginnning to boil again.

OP posts:
atosilis · 09/04/2012 15:50

All three children!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 09/04/2012 15:55

So he was drunk and spoiling for a fight?

ImperialBlether · 09/04/2012 15:58

He sounds like a nasty drunk to me. If you've drunk enough that you've caused trouble the night before, why start drinking again mid-afternoon?

How often does he drink and how often does he cause trouble when drunk?

Is he usually paranoid? Why the hell would he think you'd come downstairs to get on his nerves?

atosilis · 09/04/2012 16:01

Well put :-)
I just thought he'd be on 'best' behaviour with the house full. I cringe that DD2's partner might have heard.

I can get over things like that pretty quickly but this is 2 days later. I think I was a bit worried/upset over DGD so the shock of the abuse was - errm - a shock.

OP posts:
atosilis · 09/04/2012 16:03

The history is really too long and I don't want to drip feed, I just felt like letting it out. Now it's 'out', I will probably calm down.

OP posts:
gafhyb · 09/04/2012 16:04

Might be good if someone else did hear...........

Sorry he is treating you like this. It is not your fault.

gafhyb · 09/04/2012 16:05

Are you scared of him? He sounds aggressive

GinPalace · 09/04/2012 16:05

Horrid man. :(

atosilis · 09/04/2012 16:21

No, I'm not scared of him. I know he was sorry yesterday as he made everyone breakfast. He does shout and I am slowly repeating, from advice on hear, "Don't shout at me, you are not to shout, I am not happy about it'.

OP posts:
scarletforya · 09/04/2012 16:23

I just thought he'd be on 'best' behaviour with the house full

With my ex who drank it was the opposite, the more special the occasion the more likely it was he'd act up. It was like he couldn't bear the attention not being on him.

Drinkers don't keep their nasty behaviour for convenient times, inhe they make a rule of always acting out at the most inappropriate times.

Just my experience.

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