What to do?

[50000feet]

I'm going to split with my husband. Our marriage has become the victim of the situation with my asd DD (not his). He is so angry that our marriage did not survive and he blames everything on me. all attempts at talking end up as shouting matches - sometimes vile and very destroying. If I could move out today I would. I just can't afford to set up on my own at this moment in time, I have an ok wage but to find somewhere near my work and schools for myself and my two kids is out of my reach and I don't qualify for help. He won't move Because he is the main wage earner and pays the lion share for us all for the last ten years. I sleep on the sofa now, the atmosphere is horrendous arguing in front of kids, I can't calm his anger, today he called me the c word and my son heard. I'm just really stuck in the short term - long term I can sort it, the house has been up for sale for a year and no luck! Nearest family are 450 miles away.

Have you spoken to a solicitor? It sounds as though you'll have to expedite the split, make alternative living arrangements (either for him or you) and then manage the practicalities later.

No solicitor yet, just looked up mediator costs at 140 an hour, nearly fainted. Think I will look for an initial consult to see where I stand and try and make an informed decision. Not really bothered about divorce etc just need to provide and make kids secure! Not after fleecing him but when he goes off on one I do, but i guess that's just me responding. Just wish I could do it now, your right I need to stop burying my head in the sand and do some action! Takes effort that I don't think I have, so busy worrying about and dealing with DD.

I found talking to a solicitor was a very good way to turn what is an emotional and bewildering situation into a calm action plan. Knowing your legal position can be reassuring in itself and having some options set out by someone who has seen it all before is (awful word alert) 'empowering'. Good luck

Find a solicitor, most will give you an initial 1/2 hour free. If you don't get all your questions answered there go for another one. You are in the UK?