I knew form the word go this morning.....

[sensesworkingovertime]

....that DH would be really cold to me all day.....and I'm fed up. I will start by saying that this moan seems really pathetic compared to some of the things you all are going through but just wanted someone to 'talk' to and some of you talk a lot of sense on MN!

Started on waking up, I rolled over to cuddled DH and got absolutely FA response, might as well have been cuddling a brick. Basically he then got up and has said virtually nothing to me all day apart from a sarcastic ( he's good at those) comment at breakfast. I knew this was coming to be honest as he has been on a 'high' for the last week, laughing and joking and now he's on his downer. He seems to have regular patterns, I think there is something psychiatric almost going on but it doesn't help me when I feel loved one minute and then like a piece of shit on his shoe the next.

Anyone else any experience of this? Thanks for listening if you got to here.

yes I meant 'from' not 'form'

periods of being manic and then periods of being cold and down and low and horrible?

Get him to a gp. He needs to be checked out. He may be an arse or he may have something medically wrong.

thanks, that is a good idea but I know I would be really hard pushed to get him to go.

Have you talked about this pattern of behaviour? What would happen if you raised it with him while he's in a good mood?

You might find it easier when he is in his upbeat phase?

Keep a diary of his moods? log how he behaves? To present to a gp? Or to discuss with him?

I'm not an expert. Maybe you could contact Mind

If he wanted to raise it it would probably be fine and we would talk about it as we actually have done in the past. However if I took it upon myself to raise it he would probably clam up and go into a big sulk. I try to prepare myself for it mentally but am not alway that successful and end up getting upset.

Have you always noticed this pattern?

It's not normal to switch moods for no reason. Having said that, I doubt you'll be able to persuade him to see a doctor whilst he's feeling down.

Do you want to stay with this man?

I would suggest that the better time to broach him is when he is 'down'. If this is psychiatric - i.e. bipolar - you will almost certainly not get through to him when he is feeling 'up': it's too good to be interfered with. I say this as someone who has lived with a bipolar partner for six years.

I had a similar experience with my DP. For him, it transpired that it was down to him smoking skunk.

Living with another persons extreme and unexplained moodswings is not healthy, and there's no wonder you end up feeling upset.

For me, it ended up making me feel like I was walking on eggshells, and unsure as to when the next sulk might be coming- or what had triggered it.

I second the idea of keeping a diary.

In my relationship, things only got sorted when I made it 100% clear that I was not prepared to live my life (or allow our daughter to grow up) being at the mercy of his sulks. He then actually realised how serious I was, got help with his weed smoking habit, and to my knowledge hasn't touched it since. That was nearly a year ago, and the weird, passive aggressive type moods have miraculously disappeared. I can honestly say that we are now properly happy together.

Obviously, I don't know what the reason behind your H's moods are, but I guess what I'm saying is that somehow you need to make it clear to him how it's affecting you, and ultimately, he needs to take responsibility to sort it out.