i posted for the first time a few days ago. my bf is ea. i accept this but it hurts like hell. he has been on a 2 day bender and spent the last 60 or 70 quid to our names. on thurs he said he would leave- house owned in his name only. tonight i was very strong and said "you have ea for years, you have ground me down and ive reacted terribly at times but i wont let it happen anymore". he laughed, smirked, said i was as bad as him, he hates me, wants me to die etc. this makes me so angry and i react when i know i shouldnt. i know the issues in this relationship are down to him am.nd his awful attitude life but in particular me.
i tried to ring my dad, basically so i wasnt alone with him and try get him to leave as he said he would. of course this made him angry- "you are just a problem to everyone, you want to get everyone involved etc"he spat at me, called me no end of names and grabbed my phone out of my hand.
hes now left, im devaststed at what this relationship has come to. we have a gorgeous 15month old son- thankfully flat out in bed- who doesnt deserve this one bit. i feel so guilty that i cant make this ok for him.
part of me does question mypart in this, ive stayed and reacted to his psychological bullshit for months going onto years and its basically turned me into a demorilised, stressed out and resentful person. i also question whether he would treat anyone like this or is it just me? do i genuinely make him treat me like this or is it just that theres no love left?!?
a few nights ago i asked dp to see to ds during night(hes teething and isnt sleeping well) as im working full time, dp isnt and id seen to ds every niht for weeks. he rolled over and went back to sleep. i admit i got a bit peeved and said something along the lines of "ffs. ....give me a break will you" his reply?? "ill put you through that wall if you want you dafc c*nt". he thinks this is normal!?!
i know if i did everything around house and with ds without asking dp for anything we would be fine, we argue cos he is lazy so yeah im probably 'on his case'.hence his reasoning that its just as much me causing these problems.
i dont want to split this family up, id love him to seek help and change his ways.i dont ask much, im a good person who works hard and worships my ds and dp. is there a way of showing him how appalling his behviour is or is he a lost cause?
anyone with similar experiences with a happy ending with their dp?? im.clutching at straws i know...i just want to be cared for a little and to have an easy life