Is casual sex EVER a good idea?

[toptramp]

I've met a guy online. Things have got quite steamy and we havn't even met yet.I don't normally find this kind of sexual rapport online. He wants to ''hook up''. So do I. In the long term I am looking for a relationship. This guy works for a law firm and is retraining in another field so he dosn't have time for a full on relationship. I would like to meet up and have some fun but I am worried about getting too attached. Should I just resist my natural urges to shag his brains out or just have a bit of fun and move on?

Casual sex is a perfectly good idea if both/all parties want (just) casual sex and know they will not change their mind and everyone uses condoms and is generally 'safe'. This does not sound like one of those situations, as you feel like you might want more. Really not complicated?

SGB LOL! As though having ovaries means our brains function differently.

They do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not ^just me. I am a great fan of the sex expert Suzi Godson, and she is very much in the "women find casual sex harder than men".

You have to admit that you are at the far end of the spectrum when it comes to monogamy and yes, you have casual sex, and you are just not into exclusive relationships. This does not mean that suits everyone.

IMO most women who have casual sex all the time are kidding themselves about what they reallly want- but they just haven't found it.

I'd be worried about anyone on online dating who says he isn't looking for a relationship - I'd assume he is probably already married or in a long term relationship. Otherwise, ime, most people are like you - they might go for casual sex if it comes along, but they'd also be up for a proper relationship if they met the right person. If he's saying upfront that that's not even a possibility I would strongly suspect that he's already married.
I occasionally do online dating (in that I have a profile and will very occasionally go on dates with people from there) and I have made it very clear that I am not looking for a long term relationship. I am not married and not in a long term relationship either. There are all sorts of reasons people might not want a serious relationship at that point in their lives. IME, most people I know saying that are just out of a long term relationships themselves and the married ones tend to say totally different stuff.

OP, casual sex can be a good idea but know yourself. If you're going to get attached then don't do it. Also, if you want to meet this guy then do it sooner rather than later - building it up online for ages and ages is not a great idea. Attraction online very often isn't there when you meet.

If you want to read another experience, this is worth looking at:

www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/jan2007/casual_sex.html

I think that article is a load of bollocks. Also your comment above to SGB that women's brains are different - women are socialised to think about sex differently and behave differently from men. It's nothing to do with our brains or us being 'empty vessels that need filling'. What a load of misogynist bullshit, no wonder that woman found comfort in a misogynist organisation like the catholic church.

That article is a heap of misogynistic shite. It reminds me of Julie Burchill's quote on the 'New Celibacy' which gets invented as a 'trend' about every six years - it's 'a load of London journalists who've all given each other herpes'.

While some people want longterm monogamous relationships and that isn't a bad thing - whatever works for the individual and all that - the constant insistence that women want 'love' not casual sex is a creation of the patriarchy. It's about keeping women under male ownership. Men-as-a-class are terrified of women's sexual freedom, because if women are free to choose, they won't let men own them as a breeding resource so they have to be convinced that they can't choose freely, that they need to be owned.