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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I've had ENOUGH of his stupid bad mood and weirdness!!

35 replies

NomNomNom · 07/04/2012 11:31

Right. This is it! There's a long backstory, but short summary is this: Husband was sex addict, turns out he was abused quite horrendously by parents and someone outside the family. Since the big reveal he's been on antidepressants, and once he got started on antipsychotics too, his moods levelled out a bit.

Now he has to reduce the antipsychotics as they're only meant for short-term use. Ideally you would think such a move would be planned carefully in advance with the mother of one's child, but why do this when you can just do it on your own without keeping people in the loop!

I've just had my family to visit for a few weeks which is usually a big emotional stress for me (not best relationship). H was no support, in fact I barely heard from him apart from when he picked DD up etc.

Now it's Easter and bank holidays, so he has 4 days off work. We both thought we would do something fun together because he rarely has time off work, but when he turned up yesterday morning he was SO ANNOYING that I said no to doing anything together.

It's rubbish from the second he knocks on the door. He comes in, sits on the sofa and does.not.move. Won't suggest anything specific to do, won't get things or DD ready to go. He offered to take us out for lunch, which is nice, but I know he's overdrawn (because he told me), but he thinks that's fine and he doesn't need to work on getting out of his overdraft because he has a regular (good) income. I disagree because why should you be in debt if you don't need to be. So anyway, it all kicked off from there. I was feeling rubbish anyway, and usually when I cry he does absolutely nothing, just keeps ranting at me. Then he cries, because he cries every time I cry.

I really wanted to keep things civil because I'd love to have another baby soon, and had convinced myself I could do it all on my own with no support or input from him (apart from the obvious). But then I thought pregnancy is difficult, and it would be more enjoyable with someone who is fully involved and supportive. He can't even be nice to me when everything is going fine!! So why would he be nice to me when I'm pregnant?!

Wanting another baby has been the main thing tying me to him and making me hang on to the hope of a better relationship. But he will not change anytime soon. It takes a truly nasty person to see your wife crying and not trying to make her feel better.

Having read a few websites linked to on other threads I wonder if he has narcissistic traits. He can't deal with criticism. In counselling the counsellor had me almost convinced I was too critical and had to phrase things differently, but now I think he just can't take anything that is not admiration. He is quite full of himself when it comes to his work, although oddly he also seems to struggle sometimes. He prides himself on being different from his colleagues and how he's so much more clever, always trying to convince the bosses with random ideas on how to do thing better.

He seems incapable of understanding my feelings or the fact that I have them. Sometimes he's ok, but things are usually only bearable if it involves food or spending money in some way, which doesn't seem right to me.

Now I am so fed up with his behaviour and how little he seems to care about me that I am done!!!

OP posts:
garlicbunny · 07/04/2012 18:17

Well, actually I was going to float the idea of having another child anyway. You'd have to discuss that waaaay after reaching some kind of agreement over separation, though.

Some couples have marriages where trust isn't required - because they each go their separate ways within the marriage, more like housemates or business partners than a normal monogamous pair. I'm afraid I don't think you're one of those couples. You have to do without the emotional 'bonding', be ultra-clear about your rights & responsibilities and be committed to the partnership, which means not falling in lurve with anybody or shirking your duties.

That's not you two, really, is it?

NomNomNom · 07/04/2012 19:34

No, I don't think that's us. I think I'm an all-or-nothing kinda gal. Sometimes we work ok as a partnership, but I think usually he pays for more stuff and I organise/plan/research more than he does. So it's unequal.

OP posts:
garlicbunny · 07/04/2012 22:51

It sure is. Your p&c list (well done for doing it, btw!) looks pretty bloody unequal to me.

You wrote this:-
? He will always have mental health/addiction issues
? I will always be completely on my own emotionally
? I feel more in charge when I don't see him
? I feel more 'authentic' when I don't see him.

You are happier without him. He will always be an emotional 'taker'. You will always be lonely.

Is this a recipe for a happy, fulfilling family life?
Is DD learning how to become a happy, fulfilled woman from your example? What will she expect from her relationships?

It rather sounds as if your second-baby-one-father argument is a rationale for staying mired in this half-life of a marriage. I'm wondering if you've got an over-developed (misleading) sense of duty. Can you think of examples from your early life, where someone suffered for the sake of staying married?

NomNomNom · 08/04/2012 08:06

Hmm, not sure about the sense of duty. I feel like H and I belong together somehow, like I can't cut him out, even though I've done just that with several emotionally abusive family members before.

My mum stayed with my dad far longer than she should have done, so perhaps my 'just one more chance/it's not bad enough yet' attitude comes from that.

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PooPooInMyToes · 08/04/2012 08:42

Yes its likely it does. Like i said earlier you seem to be repeating your parents pattern.

Think carefully about if that's the life you want for your children. You've said yourself that there are people similar to him in your family. Perhaps some counselling to figure out why you are attracted to him and people like that. It seems to me that its because you are used to it, its what you grew up with. You need to break the cycle.

Belonging together means nothing when it comes to happiness. What really matters is if you are good together and you two are clearly not.

If you are single you have the chance of meeting someone different. Or just of being single and happy.

NomNomNom · 08/04/2012 20:27

I know it's not great for DD, and I do need to break the cycle. However, I also need to stay involved enough with H to get an overview of his mood so that I can protect DD.
I just can't make my mind up whether I should hang in there so we can have another baby, or give up because I feel so upset at how he treats me. I'm just so fed up at the moment.

Once a week or so I invite him to stay for dinner, and sometimes I ask if he wants to stay after DD's bedtime so we can talk. We're really not getting on at the moment, plus he's in the process of adjusting his medication, so I would have thought it's obvious we need to sort things out. He doesn't seem to think so and buggers off to see naked ladies to spend lots of money on useless stuff home as soon as he possibly can.

He never asks to spend extra time with me, although he has already informed me he has booked my birthday off work in a couple of weeks. But if we're not getting on, there's no point in spending time together then with lots of unresolved issues. He does these things like booking my birthday off work, giving me presents, practical help, and in his eyes that constitutes 'being nice', when all I want is for him to talk to me without getting angry and showing some interest in my stuff. Sometimes I think he's sending me mixed signals, but then I realise most of them demonstrate a lack of interest in spending time with me and talking to me properly, so it's time I got the hint.

OP posts:
monicamary · 08/04/2012 20:44

Hi nom why do want another baby with him for?you have to consider your Dd in all of this.Ultimately we all want the most stable and secure environment for our kids to grow up in and are you really taking that into account when deciding to have another child with H.

defineme · 08/04/2012 20:58

Lots of advice-none of it includes having another baby with this man at the moment.
Your dd will be fine sibling or not if, as you say, you are a lot better at parenting than your own parents. It sounds like your ex will have a good go at being dd's dad, but having a baby with him now is appalingly unfair to the child and not very fair to a man who is on heavy drugs and trying to sort his head out whilst holding down a job and financially supporting you.
Sometimes you have to ignore your own basic hormonal urges and go with what makes sense. Lots of people have only 1 child for lots of reasons and it's not a tragedy, it is tragic to have a baby in these knowingly shit circumstances.

Theala · 08/04/2012 21:13

I think it would be really cruel and totally selfish to have another baby with this man. I really don't understand why you think it would be ok to bring a child into the world given those circumstances.

NomNomNom · 08/04/2012 21:26

Well, my DD already lives in these circumstances, and I thought it might be good for her to have someone close to her who has the same parents and therefore understands her. I'd still be a single mum, just to two children. I know it's stupid, and I keep trying to stop feeling like this, but I can't quite get there.

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