Right. This is it! There's a long backstory, but short summary is this: Husband was sex addict, turns out he was abused quite horrendously by parents and someone outside the family. Since the big reveal he's been on antidepressants, and once he got started on antipsychotics too, his moods levelled out a bit.
Now he has to reduce the antipsychotics as they're only meant for short-term use. Ideally you would think such a move would be planned carefully in advance with the mother of one's child, but why do this when you can just do it on your own without keeping people in the loop!
I've just had my family to visit for a few weeks which is usually a big emotional stress for me (not best relationship). H was no support, in fact I barely heard from him apart from when he picked DD up etc.
Now it's Easter and bank holidays, so he has 4 days off work. We both thought we would do something fun together because he rarely has time off work, but when he turned up yesterday morning he was SO ANNOYING that I said no to doing anything together.
It's rubbish from the second he knocks on the door. He comes in, sits on the sofa and does.not.move. Won't suggest anything specific to do, won't get things or DD ready to go. He offered to take us out for lunch, which is nice, but I know he's overdrawn (because he told me), but he thinks that's fine and he doesn't need to work on getting out of his overdraft because he has a regular (good) income. I disagree because why should you be in debt if you don't need to be. So anyway, it all kicked off from there. I was feeling rubbish anyway, and usually when I cry he does absolutely nothing, just keeps ranting at me. Then he cries, because he cries every time I cry.
I really wanted to keep things civil because I'd love to have another baby soon, and had convinced myself I could do it all on my own with no support or input from him (apart from the obvious). But then I thought pregnancy is difficult, and it would be more enjoyable with someone who is fully involved and supportive. He can't even be nice to me when everything is going fine!! So why would he be nice to me when I'm pregnant?!
Wanting another baby has been the main thing tying me to him and making me hang on to the hope of a better relationship. But he will not change anytime soon. It takes a truly nasty person to see your wife crying and not trying to make her feel better.
Having read a few websites linked to on other threads I wonder if he has narcissistic traits. He can't deal with criticism. In counselling the counsellor had me almost convinced I was too critical and had to phrase things differently, but now I think he just can't take anything that is not admiration. He is quite full of himself when it comes to his work, although oddly he also seems to struggle sometimes. He prides himself on being different from his colleagues and how he's so much more clever, always trying to convince the bosses with random ideas on how to do thing better.
He seems incapable of understanding my feelings or the fact that I have them. Sometimes he's ok, but things are usually only bearable if it involves food or spending money in some way, which doesn't seem right to me.
Now I am so fed up with his behaviour and how little he seems to care about me that I am done!!!