Yesterday I was in the supermarket when I saw a friend/ex-friend? in the same aisle. I was busy looking at biscuits (what else?) then turned round to continue shopping when I noticed her. I first saw her child in the trolley and noticed as the child is 5 and was in the main part of the trolley, not the seat, so that sort of caught my eye. Then I realised who it was and looked up to see her mother.
At this point, the mother put her nose in the air and walked past, then got out her phone and rang someone.
I didn't speak either and decided to continue shopping.
It was all of about 4 seconds, but you know how you don't instantly recognise people when you're not expecting to see them so it takes a moment to dawn on you?
The back story is that we have known each other for about 6 years, meeting through an antenatal group.
The things we have in common are living in same area and having same age children.
She is a pretty nice person and likes lots of social contact, often wanting to meet up one week night then a playdate during the weekend.
I have other children (she has one) and also work fulltime and also am a single parent so I have very little time to socialise. I tended to prefer to meet up once a month rather than twice a week, and to increasingly want to avoid playdates as they always went to custard and my children have friends with whom they have much more fun playdates.
Anyway, and I know this is long so thanks for staying with me, about 6 weeks ago we agreed to go out. She had to cancel so we re-scheduled to the following week. At the last minute she wanted to change the time (back an hour) but it didn't suit me as I was already out (going straight from work) and didn't want to wait an hour. So I then said I would go on to do my own thing.
She responded right away saying let's re-schedule to next week but it has to be at the later time. Which obviously wasn't going to suit me as again, I would be leaving work and have to wait around. (she would be coming from home).
I left it and continued with my evening.
She then texted several times during next few days saying she wanted to do the later time and to bring her mother and another friend.
I didn't respond, partly because it was a crazy busy time for me and partly because I didn't want to go out a) later, b) with her mother and c) was feeling a bit irritated by this point.
She next phoned me morning of the suggested catch up and left a message saying how put out she had been that she had missed out on a night out the previous week because of me changing plans, and could I hurry up to let her know what was happening that night.
When I picked up her messages I responded by text saying sorry sorry for lack of reply, it had been a hectic time (child ill and a close friend had mc, trying to be supportive), I couldn't go out that evening.
But later I felt quite angry. I felt she was being manipulative and I didn't like it. After thinking about it, I realised that small things that had irritated me about her for a long time had sort of grown into a biggish problem.
I was unsure what to do and carried on ignoring the problem and getting through daily chaos life.
Then yesterday.
Yes, I could have spoken to her and that would have forced the issue, but by the time the penny dropped she had blanked me. And in that awkward moment I decided to carry on shopping.
But we are going to run into each other regularly and I think this blanking thing is ridiculous.
How do I handle this?
Clearly we have worn out our friendship, but there is no need to be enemies. How do I be a grown up, clear the air and move on?