Help me deal with a talk about money and not have a blazing row

[mosschops30]

Ok bit of background:

Me and dh have a credit card each (his is 2k mine is £800)
We have another card which we threw all this years hols on and said we would pay £2k each. So far ive paid £1100, dh has paid £25.
We are about to buy my mum a house cash (£130k) but are taking a £10k mortgage on it £5k for housing emergencies for my mums house and £5 to clear the cards. When my mum passes away then the £130k will be for me and dh and we will pay off that £10k.
I am about to work full time for a year, (uni course and practice, fully paid) my choice and dh said he was happy for me to do it as long as i could cover the childcare costs (approx £580pm).
This morning i asked him if he could pay £72 per month for ds2 childcare.
He said 'fine, but im buying a bike -£1300).

Now i am really pissed off about this for the following reasons:
I struggled to pay that £1100 off the holiday card, dh has paid nothing and now it will be cleared. I dont see why he shouldnt have to pay anything, and then buy himself a bike.
He has 2k on his card because he buys what he wants. I have £800 on mine because i am reasonably careful.

Weve just rowed about it on the phone, i dont want to row, i just want him to see that hes not doing me some massive favour.
Right now i feel like not paying his card, half the holiday card off and just paying mine and using the rest of the money for extra childcare but thats a bit childish isnt it?

DH earns about 10 x what I do.

We have a joint account that his salary only goes into. He pays all the bills, if we need clothes it comes out of the same account, when the cars need servicing/taxing it comes out of that account. If I go out with the girls it comes out if that account, if I have my hair done ditto. When we needed kids club for two evenings after school for DS2 whilst I went to work part time, he paid.

Now my piddling salary gets paid into an account in my name only. We use this for holidays, but if I wanted to spend some of it, he wouldn't say anything.

When he gets a bonus, he buys us both a treat and gives the boys some money to spend on what they like. We then decide together what we will do with the rest of it. Sometimes we pay a lump sum off the mortgage. We have just had solar panels fitted. In the autumn I am going to have a new kitchen and for Xmas he is buying me a new car outright.

How much of a proportion of what is spent out of those accounts is for you and how much of a proportion of what is spent is for him outside of the joint expenses?

For example. If after all family/household/work costs you each have £100 left. If he saves his £100 up then he can buy a bike where as you can spend yours monthly on shoes and handbags to your hearts content.

If after all family/household/work cost/his credit card bills which he has put a £1.3k bike on you each have £100 left then he still has £100 on top of all that on his credit card.

Does that make any sense?