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Original poster

Not sure my husband is out with clients

17 replies

lostboysfallin · 05/04/2012 00:23

they are all a bit too flexible. Short notice drinks, could be wed or Thursday.
Last minute dinner bookings.
Out til 12/1am?
Ime client drinks/dinners are arranged well in advance.

I know he's "friends" with some of his clients, but not all of them

OP posts:
PuggyMum · 05/04/2012 00:32

What does your husband do?

PuggyMum · 05/04/2012 00:34

Sorry was quick to post that! I used to do a lot of corporate entertaining and some people became friends so I did stay out later than the job required etc.... Do you know any of these clients / friends??

HalfPastWine · 05/04/2012 02:13

I was once the OW and my 'married man' would use clients drinks as the excuse to the wife most of time. However I work in an industry where client entertainment is a regular occurence and no, it's not always planned well in advance.
Chances are he just wants to be out on the piss with his colleagues. Clients are always a good excuse for that.

Has there been anything else which has made you question his behaviour?

SodoffBaldrick · 05/04/2012 03:37

No, they're not always organised well in advance, but it sounds like you're suspicious. Any particular reason to be other than this?

Original poster
lostboysfallin · 05/04/2012 09:46

We are struggling a bit, having counselling.
He's supposed to be making an effort to spend more time at home and decrease stress levels
He said he had to take the IT guys out because they had done a big job for him.
He's a banker
He's been there 5 years and I've met one person from work
He talks about his clients all the time, and occasionally there are proper organised functions, or he takes them to a sporting event or wine tasting type of thing.
It's the impromptu clients that he takes for dinner,
I just have a funny feeling about it
And sometimes he will text or call and then other times, nothing.

I think I sound like a loon

OP posts:
Goawaybob · 05/04/2012 09:52

bugger me, thats where all the money goes then, taking clients out to dinner Hmm What is wrong with people just getting paid, why do they have to get all these dinners on top, oh yeah, to avoid paying tax! Weird society we live in.

Personally id be well pissed off - i can't imagine these things being off the cuff spontenious, and the fact that he sometimes doesnt text or call is outrageous.

Affair or not, id be very unhappy

Goawaybob · 05/04/2012 09:52

i cant spell

Original poster
lostboysfallin · 05/04/2012 10:01

My husband doesn't avoid paying tax, I have no idea where that theory comes from?
He takes clients out to prove that he can offer them the products and services they need. He sells himself so they trust him with their finance

OP posts:
Goawaybob · 05/04/2012 10:05

Sorry, that was out of line - totally irrelevant too. apologies.

I just find it weird, id be more trusting of a compny that didn't splash the cash but thats a different issue.

I think your defence of hour DH speaks volumes - you love him, you trust him. That is a good thing

UnhappyLizzie · 05/04/2012 10:10

If you're concerned it's not clients he is out with, then you are worrying about OW obviously. Are there any other pointers to an affair (possessive of phone, more care over appearance, sudden gym habit, etc)?

UnhappyLizzie · 05/04/2012 10:11

And of course, is he different with you - more distant or irritable?

Original poster
lostboysfallin · 05/04/2012 10:39

Lizzie, No other pointers really
Tbh he came home early Monday and Tuesday and because we talked, and he had to face up to some uncomfortable truths, I think he just wanted a night off from home
I think he just manufactured a night out and said it was clients.
I think that's the lie

Bob- if my husband brings in a couple of million quid from these clients, taking them for a steak isn't really flashing the cash, that's the way it works
There is a budget for dinners and it's not that generous at all

OP posts:
Original poster
lostboysfallin · 05/04/2012 22:43

so, just been out for dinner
booked babysitter, ready for good night out
and he's too tired
huffs and puffs because chair is uncomfy, too hot, has to go outside for fresh air, stressing, can't wait for cab, gets impatient with the bill.

It was lovely, food was great, wine all good, lovely country pub/restaurant.
He's just sooooo tired, bless him Hmm

he always does this, stays out with clients for hours and then can't have a few drinks with his wife.

i'm annoyed now
especially because we are going away tomorrow and he has done sweet fa to help
I have packed everything, sorted all the camping stuff, all the food/wine/beer/games/toys, wellies, waterproofs, swimsuits, packed for every bloody season and he has done nothing
he just has to pack his stuff, and find some gas tanks for the bbq, that's it, but he will now be doing it at 5am.

OP posts:
Rustygussets · 05/04/2012 23:50

Just stop doing so much and break the cycle.

Make your own regular plans so he can't do this short notice stuff so readily.

springaroundthecorner · 06/04/2012 18:02

OP, are you sure he isnt having an affair? Your last post about taking you out to dinner was exactly how my stbx started to behave. I didnt think he was having an affair either but he was.

TracyK · 06/04/2012 18:06

Sounds like you need to keep a close eye on him over the next wee while. Defo sounds dodgy - but it could be you being overly sensitive?

TracyK · 06/04/2012 18:06

But I agree with Rusty - start making your own plans every 'certain night' - so he can't just drop out.

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