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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Balancing two careers - really want to be supportive...

1 reply

QueenofPlaids · 04/04/2012 18:50

My DP was made redundant and there isn't a lot in his field where we live. He's been told of a fantastic role which is effectively his if he wants it - at the other end of the country and I am dreading him saying he wants to take it.

Neither of us wants to move to what is a much more expensive part of the UK and because I was the main breadwinner by quite a margin, I can easily support us where we are now, albeit less comfortably than if we were both earning. His salary would equal mine if we moved but would be almost entirely swallowed by increased living & transport costs.

Having said that, this move would be a great career move for him. I could readily transfer to an office about an hour and a half from where he would be working, but one or both of us (probably me) would have a serious commute that wouldn't be sustainable long term Sad

My inclination is to ask him to super-commute for a bit if he does want to take the role & to keep trying to get something locally in the interim (it wouldn't be immediate start), but I don't know if I'm being prudent or less-than-supportive because I really don't want to move

Other consideration is he loves his job, whereas I just love my paycheque Wink

OP posts:
rightchoice · 04/04/2012 18:59

In your particular circumstances it would be crazy for you to uproot yourselft at this early stage. Things happen, appointments can be made but trial periods can change everything, dont relocate or hand in your notice and move it is far too early. Who knows, he may not fit in himself. Surely the best idea here is for him to have a trial period in the new job. He could throw himself into the mix and you could have just weekends together for a while.

If you are meant to be together and your relationship stands the test of time and the commute, you will then both, slowly be able to work out the best option for the long term future.

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