Toxic relationship with SIL and brother

[mumtorobbie]

I've seriously come to the end of the line with my brother and SIL and I'm very worried as to what they're both capable of.

My SIL was my younger brother's first girlfriend and since meeting over 13 years ago, they've got married and have a DD and my brother adopted my SIL's other DD.

My brother has gone from being my confidant to a complete and utter stranger. The things they have done to my parents beggar belief, ranging from stealing money from my dad's credit card to pretending her own father had liver cancer in order to get money out of my parents for their wedding.

My brother and I come from a very stable, loving home and their actions have caused my parents a great deal of heartache.

What tends to happen is that they'll have a big argument with my parents, we won't hear from them for 6 months or so and then they'll worm their way back into my parent's affection again. The latest is my brother turned up a few weeks ago begging for money to move to a new house as they are apparently being terrorised in their current home. Of course my dad has given him the money and now my brother is uncontactable.

I just feel to awful for my parents and as they're both heading towards 70, I worry about how this is going to pan out in the future.

I haven't spoken to my brother for about 3 years as it's easier for him not to be in my life but am I doing the right thing by cutting contact?

You can't help the relationship your parents choose to have with their son. It's their money to give and, if they don't want to see the reality, not much you can do will make them. If you've not spoken to your brother for three years hasn't contact already been cut?

Stay away from these people, they will do you only harm. Watch out for your parents, if they have the measure of them, they should be wary about contact too.

I suppose contact has been cut really. I can't really have them in my life because she's so unpredictable I can't have her anywhere near my DCs.

One example of this is a few years ago, my DB was admitted to A&E and she rang the family saying he'd had a heart attack when in actual fact it was a migraine he was suffering from. Her DCs were in and out of hospital so much when they were younger with a range of made-up illnesses, I'm surprised social services weren't alerted.

My mum has the measure of them DrSeuss but I think my dad just wants everything to be ok again. It's awful to watch as he's still their son but he's just as complicit as my SIL.