Sex once every 2 months...normal?

[Binxy]

Basically me and dh have discussed it before and he doesn't seem bothered. He will initiate it once every 2 months or so. Some kissing but whole thing over in 10 mind and all about his satisfaction.

We have been married 3 year and have never had lots of sex but the last year things are really rubbish.

Well I haven't had sex in about 10 years so it seems excessive to me......

However compared to most other relationships it does seem below par.

Have you considered discussing your wants and needs, counselling, or considering whether he is getting sex elsewhere?

mmm, well there are always loads of people on mn who seem to be at it several times a week, but none of my friends have the energy or inclination. I certainly don't, and not a very happy marriage, so it's pretty infrequent. Suits me fine, but if you want it more often then it needs talking about.

We have 2 DCs and it's probably an average of 2-3 times a week here.

It's only an issue if either of you are unhappy with the situation. My DH and aren't at it like rabbits either, it maybe works out every 2 or 3 weeks or so. But, having been together 10 years I think it's pretty normal. The only times I feel dissatisfied are after talking with friends who all seem to be getting it all the time and I compare myself with them, which isn't really the point. And who knows if they're even telling the truth!

Don't worry about it if it's enough for you, if it isn't then that's different.

If its never been prolific, it never will be.

My view is some people click sexually and some click in other ways.

Sex drive seems to be a major cause of problems in relationships. I think a sex drive test before you commit would be a good idea for all couples.

Didn't you know - sleep is the new sex!!

DP & I used to be at it like rabbits every 5 minutes (so was probably about 10+ times a week 18 months ago) and he was convinced I was a nympho but since changing my contraception to the pill and having more to do with his kids and my well behaved baby turning into a terrible toddler running rings around me my sex drive has become almost none existent - I'm just too shattered most the time, 4 noisy hyper children is hard work especially when theirs no school.

On average its now about once a week but then we don't live together either, during school holidays when he stay's for longer periods its about 2-3 times a week and I thought maybe that was low, however it works for us and we are both happy and get pleasure from each other in other ways to so its I don't see it as a biggy.

Tbh, loads of people saying how often they do it is neither here nor there. Any amount of sex between none and lots is normal really.

The question really is - is once every 2 moths enough for you and when it does happen is it good enough for you?

It is ok to want more sex or better sex and these things should be up for discussion in relationships. If you are happy with the sex you have it's fine. But I am guessing you are not?

Pull is right. Normal is neither here nor there, whatever frequency keeps you two happy and content is right for you. If one or both of you aren't satisfied then see what you can do about it, don't worry about how often everyone else claims to be swinging from chandeliers.

Some kissing but whole thing over in 10 mins and all about his satisfaction.

This is the bit that's worrying, not the frequency...

Unless you are fine with that?