Unsubtle but not-too-mean ways of telling DH "not tonight dear"?!

[AdornMeWithSparkle]

DH is a bit precious a little sensitive to having his sexual advances rebuffed and, while I am usually up for some with my loving husband, there are occasionally times when I just want to sleep.

Yesterday I thought I was reasonably clear that I wasn't up for it by my frequent mentions of how tired I was but he joined me in the shower (where we just had a chat!) and then was snuggling in bed (which was lovely) but then his hands started wandering so I had to tell him "no thanks". He did a bit of a flounce then.
Anyone got any good subtle-as-a-brick but not too mean ways of telling the DH that tonight's not the night?!

'Very tired. Don't want to have sex. Very happy to cuddle but that's it. Don't take it either as an insult or a challenge. Understand?'

just tell him you dont feel like it. I think you need a proper talk about the fact that sometimes you just dont feel like it, and you dont like it when he gets huffy and tries to make you feel bad about it.

Deadpan."Computer says no".

Headache??

Dinah yes, I have told him that there's no need to be huffy about it as I am sometimes just tired and it's no reflection on him but he can't seem to stop taking it personally.

ThePathan - I like that!!

Sparky - too cliched! ;)

Yeah thought so

Just tell him your not up for it. If he wants to deal with it like a child let him.

Sparky - ah yes, I don't pander to his huffs at all, I leave him to it!

"You have a hand, use it" though I do realise that is not the most diplomatic answer

I'd let him flounce tbh, I can;t be doing with all the pandering. He's a big boy. Presumably when a mate says no to a night out he understands?

It's awful when your partner goes all moody just because you don't feel like sex.
I remember reading somewhere that men equate refusal of sex with rejection , but I might have made that one up!

Frida - tittered at that one!
PullUp - I do let him flounce but am wondering if there is a way where I can avoid the flouncing for everyone's sake! (tbh, it's not that often!)

ThePathan - yes, I do think he equates it with rejection, tbh, but he still needs to get over himself!

My fanjo is broken?

Adorn the only way to avoid the flouncing is for him to grow up I think!

tell him youve got a weird fungal infection

Pullup well, he may be showing signs of growing up a bit. Last night's flounce had a considerably lower level of audible sighing and hardly any exaggerated turning over and pulling the duvet around him!

Beckamaw - ooh, I could tell him my fanjo was broken from the last time we had sex so he would get an ego boost in the rejection!

I personally find having a bit of an upset tummy and 'loudly' using the loo works a treat! Dampens the ardour in our house anyway.

So he withdraws affection when you don't want sex?

Oh come on Sparkles being as he's getting the knock-back, could you not indulge him in a leetle ego boosting .

"No, let's just cuddle tonight. I like cuddling."

Seriously though, it is a problem if he makes you feel bad for refusing sex. It shouldn't be an issue.

Just before bed go to the toilet and then start wavig an airfreshner around and saying:

"Bloody hell, what has that dinner done to my innards, I haven't poo'd like that in years, I really need a shower because I think a bit splattered up my back but I cant be arsed"

Let me know how that goes please OP

Bohica - superb!

@ Bohica FFS she does want to have sex with the man at some point again this Century.

Bertie - he doesn't make me feel bad, he is just huffy to himself which is a little annoying!

Bohica - yes, good plan! In fact, last night he was going on about his farts which put me off a bit though I had already decided I was too tired for it! Although I might tone it down a little from your scenario!

GoawayBob - this is not a very serious thread and I wouldn't say he "withdraws affection", I would say he gets the hump a bit and flounces to sleep. Obviously I see that he is withdrawing physical affection but we rarely fall asleep in each other's arms apart from after sex so him turning over doesn't make me feel he's withdrawing affection, just going to sleep which generally suits me fine!

Can I ask (if it's not too personal, equally, now I know about your DHs fart habits!) how often does he make advances and suceeds a week? The number may affect my advice.