hammering in my head

[bloodywoodpecker]

I finished with a bloke, despite loving him very much.
I slept with his friend, because his friend kept telling me this bloke had never cared for me.
I did it once.
I was told, by another mutual friend that bloke had "forgiven me and bore me no malice"

Why, if as I had been convinced, this bloke had never cared for me,was he forgiving me for what I had done? Presuming his mate told him.

Not a situation that's going to change my life, am not in touch with either of them.It's just something I think about every so often, and a comment by one of my mumsnet relationship guru posters on another thread got me thinking.

Someone doesn't have to care about you to forgive you. If they've behaved badly they can quite easily 'forgive' you for reciprocating... because they know they deserved it at the time.

because his friend kept telling me this bloke had never cared for me.

Ah. Did you have reason to believe him?

well, this is the weird thing. I believed him I suppose because he was being nice to me and it had been months since me and the other bloke had even spoken. But, as me and the friend were kind of getting to know each other, it came out that he was under the impression me and bloke were actually still together because bloke was telling everyone that. Then suddenly it changed to "he was only after an easy shag". I was so hurting still, and trying to look cool and hard and as if I didn't care it was easy enough to believe.

Sorry for dripfeed. I also had kind of worked out that bloke was letting other people think we were still an item because I'd bump into mutual friends and they'd give me messages for him and stuff. (and paranoid old me would be thinking "why are they sticking the knife in like this?" )