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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Work colleague has got the wrong idea - what do I do??

12 replies

Dizzymama · 05/02/2006 20:26

I was going to change my name for this one but in the end couldn't be a*d and as I've done nowt wrong, decided it didn't matter!
I work in a very close knit team of about 20 people including this lovely bloke who has only been with us for a year. We're all very 'flirty' I suppose, well loud and always taking the mick anyway. We're also quite a huggy / play fighting kind of bunch - you need humour to get through our average working day!
Anyway, I very much fear that this bloke has got the wrong idea about me. Both he and I are very happily married to our repective partners and both of us have children. It never even crossed my mind that our banter could be misconstrued but I suppose all the other blokes i work with are used to the way we all are at work.
God, this is making me sound like a tart and now I'm rambling.......main problem is, how on earth do I get across to this chap that I'm not after him and yet still maintain a working relationship. I'd feel a right prat if I came out and said 'I don't fancy you' and he turned round and said 'I never thought you did'
Help me!!!

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Dizzymama · 05/02/2006 20:32

anyone? Please? I have to face him tomorrow and I seriously think I might die of shame (or don a habit and pretend I've become a nun!) anything to lighten the atmosphere!

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KBear · 05/02/2006 20:36

I would casually mention at the coffee machine that your DH bought you a massive bunch of flowers this week and aren't you lucky to have such a great husband who appreciates you. Also drop in that he's taking you out for dinner this weekend and he's such a romantic. (All lies quite likely but he will get the picture!).

mumatuks · 05/02/2006 20:36

I'd back off with the flirty stuff, luagh and joke, but just be very calm, cool and super professional. Be pleasent but not soo nice!

Sorry if this is no help! I hope everything works out for you.

tillykins · 05/02/2006 20:38

You have my sympathy, I've been there! Okay, calm down! Its not so bad Dizzy, you haven't said anything to humiliate yourself or put yourself in an inextricable position

The most likely thing is, he is all mouth anyway and he isn't actually going to make a move on you and force the issue

I think your best option is to continue as you are, but bring your husband into the conversation
Its valentines day soon, so use that, I dunno, ask what everyone's plans are and go from there

It worked for me, the man concerned and I had a good working relationship, a bit flirty but I didn't mean it and neither did he - but it suddenly dawned on me, that he thought I was serious
so I started talking about DH - I'd say stuff like my shoulders ached and I'd have to get DH to massage them, then add, he's a sweetheart, he'll massage my shoulders for an hour and still iron me a shirt - thats a naff example but hopefully you know what I mean

Anyway, for me, it meant we could continue as we were, but I had made it clear that I didn't actually fancy him, without any embarrassment

WharfRat · 05/02/2006 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Dizzymama · 05/02/2006 20:44

Excellent ideas with valentine quips, will start on those!
Tillykins - the daft thing is that he wouldn't make a move at all, he is very happily married and I think I've just succeeded in scaring the poor blighter half to death. I'm pretty certain he's sat at home right now lamenting to his wife that this mad woman is likely to jump him tomorrow!
I have cooled off towards him, but everyone else has noticed and are now convinced I hate him. So now I have him thinking I fancy the pants off him and the rest thinking I'm going to get him sacked!
Bloomin work place politics!!

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ProfessorG · 05/02/2006 20:55

You could send yourself a massive bouquet to work on 14th - or even better drop hints to get DH to send them to you?

Dizzymama · 05/02/2006 22:09

Sorry PG - went to have a relaxing bath!! I like that idea, shall commence hinting to DH right now!!

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Tortington · 05/02/2006 22:44

tell him you had a conversation about having more children with your dh, you can't wait as he's such a good man, great father etc....and the practice will be good fun ...oh har de har har har ...nudge nudge wink wink

tillykins · 05/02/2006 22:45

and he has a great big willy so you would never stray
okay, maybe not that bit

Tortington · 06/02/2006 11:39

give him a really bad BJ?

Dizzymama · 06/02/2006 20:08

I draw the line there custy!! Think I'd rather settle for the bad working relationship!!!!

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