Don't fancy or love DH anymore and to top it off have a crush on someone...

[whereintheworld]

Maybe thats why. DH just doesn't do it for me anymore.

Married 13years. 2 DDs.

Developed a crush on my fitness instuctor. There is a lot of banter. He's not overly flirty. Sometimes we exercise alone and sometimes with others but he always seems to be directing comments my way and touches me a lot and does joke with me more than the others. I just so badly want to bloody well shag him, i feel SO frustrated.

I'm not kidding myself. I am 39 and he is 27 but I think I look pretty ok but old enough to be his mother .

I'm not even saying I would DO anything (and he probably would be horrified if he knew how I felt)but how do I get rid of this crush? I think about him while I'm having sex with DH. DH away every other week at the moment with work.

I'm scared I'm going to do or say something I regret or make a fool of myself. This has been going on for nearly a year now.

HELP!!

We all have crushes from time to time, we wouldn't be human if we didn't!

I think you're fitness instructor is a safe (if not massively cliched!) person to have the crush on because you get to touch him and he probably has a very buff body. He's probably a crashing bore

Are you sure that you don't love your husband any more, or is it a case of having had your head turned which has made him seem less appealing?

I have a crush at the moment. It doesn't mean I don't love my husband and I'm not going to do anything about it but it does pass the time, I don't see anything wrong with it.

Feel nothing for husband-very numb. Am having counselling to decide what to do.

Yes, fitness instructor a massive cliche. It could be the stomach churning feelings of lust that I am missing with my DH. I wouldn't see anything wrong with it if I was happy with my DH but I just can't stop thinking about this guy.

My mum was round yesterday and I told her a little bit about how I was feeling and of course, she was horrified and told me to get a grip, blah blah blah. She thinks I'm a scarlet woman already (I should have come on here first-was just desperate to talk to someone). Am scared she's going to let something slip now. I feel so stupid. it's not like I'm 20 and I have a chance with him.

it's just sometimes....I feel there is a bit of flirtation. He always does some stretches with me at the end of a class when the others are going or if we are on our own, seems to touch me a lot. I just want to grab him. Bloody hell, I sound demented. I'm actually quite normal, I promise!

Hang on....you're not old enough to be his mother! Unless you were 12!

I have a theory that has always worked well for me, and that's that sane people of sound mind (not mad stalkers) know deep down whether someone wants them or not. In this case it seems that you know that, no matter how friendly he is, he's not lusting after you like that - or, if he is, only in the most distant way.

Which is good - because that means that you can safely enjoy your fantasies about him. There's NOTHING wrong with that, provided you keep them private. So enjoy - and no, you won't inadvertently say or do something in front of him. We tend to be on our bestest, most self-conscious behaviour around people we fancy the pants off, so don't worry about that.

Your issues with your husband are what should be occupying your mind - and it clearly is, so keep going with the counselling.

Fantasies, when kept in that realm, are good and healthy. Promise. So stop worrying about that.

No one can make you be in love with your husband but please end your marriage BEFORE shagging someone else. The fallout from doing it the dishonest way round is indescribable and far worse than just ending your marriage.

You are just doing what men find very easy to do! I fancy the arse of a girl at our work who is much too young for me and wouldnt look at me twice but god she is fit. I dont plan on having an affair with her though.Lol she would probably never stop laughing if I made my thoughts clear!

Keep it for what it is a fantasy and maybe use it to get some romance back into your relationship. Its very easy to feel like this when DH lives away during the week and you have kids.