It is 7.30 pm and DP is already asleep... Arrghhh

[brette]

I feel very frustrated and I just need to let it out, sorry for the rant. DP has never liked going out which was fine by me but now that we have DS 18 m, he seems to be often tired/grumpy/negative. We do turns to wake up with DS so we are equal on the sleep-deprivation scale but when it is his turn to wake up, he always says "got to go to bed cos I am waking up early tomorrow" which drives me nuts! I do it too but I never point it out like that every time! I work from home so my social life is inexistant. On Sundays, I go and sing for two hours and he always says "since you're not here on Sunday..." I am away TWO bloody hours! And tonight, I cooked a nice diner (something he never does anymore) and he's like, " I am too tired, I go to bed." I know I sound very controlling (I am a control freak, I know it) but I feel like we have no life, like he doesn't make any effort and that I am the one who's been trying for years to have enough energy for two people... He is no fun. And here I am, on my own, writing on Mumsnet, on a Saturday evening... I know I shouldn't feel sorry for myself cos he is a cool guy, maybe too cool. Oh, I don't see the point of boring you with my little crisis. But, hey! That's why Mumsnet exists too, isn't it? Isn't it?

brette why don't you arrange to do something yourself on a fri/sat night..? How about a night out with the girls..? or something you fancy learning..? ie Dancing etc..?

Maybe if he saw you had more of a life without him he may be shocked or shamed into changing...

I am a sahm but dh is brilliant on the social side of things and encourages me to get out iykwim..although we also have a good time together at home. DD is 8 mths and we are yet to leave her grandparents so lots of things are done as us 3.

good luck.

Shhhh, thanks for your post, I appreciate. I feel I did an unfair description of my DH. I was upset. He lets me go out whenever I feel like it, I am not a repressed housewife whatsoever.(on Sunday afternoons, it is diffrent because then DS is not asleep iykwim) But he never seems to be very enthusiastic for anything fun! Or perhaps we don't have the same notion of what is fun. I am not going to change a pessimistic into a happy-go-lucky, am I?

different, that is...

no but there is a difference being pessimistic and being a stick in the mud- asleep at 7.30 on on a saturday night?
do you think he's actually a bit depressed? all the sleeping?

He's not always sleeping like that! But we are both knackered, working a lot, DS often ill and not sleeping well recently and no holiday for a long time... It is not a good combinaison for fun and love!