I'm 25 so I feel like this shouldn't bother me but it does. Although not for the expected reasons.
I've known it was on the cards for years really. Since I got a BF at 16 (he's now DH) and they overtly gave up all 'parenty' duties, mum has used me as a counsellor and gone into more detail than I ever wanted to hear. A few years ago they had a big argument and mum just sprung the papers on him, and me. I was devastated then but nothing actually came of it as she forgave him. They just went back to acting like it was all ok.
So in the last year or so mum has told me more and more, not once thinking that maybe I couldn't handle it, including telling me about an emotional affair or two and expecting me to listen and be excited for her. But I do agree she is right to leave. Dad makes her miserable. I told her she needed to do it now. I even told her that if she posted on MN, everyone would say the same!
So she did it last week. He's not shown any emotion (he's not good like that) and they are acting like nothing's really happened, only just discussing practical stuff like what to sell. Have just spent a draining two days where they have been here, DH giving them lots of advice about finances etc, me just sitting there.
The house is the hardest thing for me. I was sexually abused there as a young child, by mum's brother. It is not their fault but I resent and struggle with the fact they let me down and in particular that they didn't let me prosecute. Obviously there are hideous memories of the abuse and also my teens where I spent years as a shut in just self harming in my room until I ended up in a psychiatric unit.
I have said for years that I was worried about inheriting the house and it was something that mum agreed with. Ironically this was one of the main reasons mum wanted a divorce. She has always hated it, it is too big for them, too expensive, and falling apart around their ears. Rats, mice, insects. When I was a teen a storm smashed my window, it is still covered in plastic over 10 years later. That's just one tiny example. I am really worried how my dad will cope on his own. He is self employed but workless and can't even look after himself let alone finances and a house or flat. Mum has done everything. His mental health has been worrying for years.
So now they are finally sorting it out, and I'm so sad. I am angry that I don't get a family home with good memories, somewhere to take their grandkids. I guess I was hanging on to the idea that one day they would do it up like dad always said and that it would paint over all the shit that went on there. The only home I knew was full of hurt and now even that is going. I thought I would be pleased but I'm devastated.
This weekend is my best friends' wedding and we are all staying in the hotel 2 doors down from the house. I am expected to go there in between bridesmaid duties and see what stuff I want to keep.
Everything else in my life is chaos and stress right now, it's all hospital appointments and referrals and I just want to run away and not worry about any of it any more.
I'm sorry this is a mess.