How long do I have to feel like this ??

[AnArkIsAFineVessel]

I'm recently seperated from my husband . We had been together 15 years He was having an affair whilst I was pregnant with our DS2 and is AFAIK still with the OW.Moved into our own place and getting on with things but I still feel utterly shattered . I'm lonely I burst into tears all the time and when I have to see or speak to him regarding the children I feel like my heart is going to break all over again.
If he put his arms around me I would break, I know I would and damn it I don't want to. I want to hate him for what he has done then eventually move onto not caring . Im so peed off he had no time for his family but now has all the time in the world for his new one . Apparently he loves her because she "mothers him" and he wonders why I refused too!!!???!!
Im contemplating Internet dating to get me out a bit more and open my eyes to a pool full of men out there that are actually good and kind , not selfish toss bags ! He has eroded my confidence so much I don't feel that anyone is ever going to want me though .
Arghhh I just want to wake up in the morning and not feel the stabbing horrible pain I always do and start looking forward to the future .

It's a nasty thing to go through, and there's a grieving process which is made worse, I think, because you know the person hasn't even the good grace to be dead. They're just choosing to be elsewhere. It's particularly crap when they've merrily moved on without so much as a backward glance, skipping off into the sunset and you're making big sacrifices just to stand still.

I would avoid internet dating personally. When your pride has been severely dented you need to feel good about yourself first before you get back out there or you'll make bad decisions. Spend time with people you like and find things that keep your mind occupied. That way you have less time to think over the hurt. Distract yourself long enough and, one day, you won't wake up feeling horrible. Good luck

How long has it been? I've been separated for 3 months and occasionally feel ok, but only for a few days, then it's back to heartbroken. Overall though, starting to feel stronger. I agree with Cogito that taking your mind off things helps. Problem is, very little takes my mind off it and everything is a reminder.

FWIW, your husband sounds like an arse. One day maybe you will look at yourself and your new life, look back at your childish husband and laugh. xx

Also try to limit communication even about the kids to texts or emails. Come up with a routine so you have interact with him as little as possible, don't let him in your house, do drop offs at the gate or through a their party.
I wouldn't date yet, but do get a social life. Do a course, go swimming, meet friends for drinks or coffee etc.

do you know many people who have been through the same thing? It's really helpful to talk. I've been going through the same situation (H having an affair, I'm still pg with DS2, it's been 3 months since we separated). I've found it unbelievable how helpful talking to other recently separated and otherwise successful single mums has been. I've kept a thread on here too that has really taken me through the dark days (and I still have them, believe me). Don't look at dating before you try connecting in general, it sounds like you'd benefit more from the shoulder to cry on/tea and sympathy kind of company right now than the trying to get their leg over kind. PM me if you want to chat at all, and if you want to know more about what I've been dealing with (H also apparently v happy with his OW still) my thread here is called How could he :(

I hope you feel much better soon, I really do understand how shit it is x