Feel vulnerable

[CJ2010]

DP and I have two DC's and have been together for nearly 4 yrs - things happened very quickly! We are for the most part happy and content but life does get us down - general stress if having two babies to care for and money worries, altho DP does gave a good job but we are not complacent and try to keep to a budget as you never know what's around the corner....

Anyway... We are not married and tbh it never really bothered me up until about 6 months ago but, now this may sound a bit stupid, but I started to feel offended that he hasnt asked me, coupled with the realisation of how vulnerable I am financially (SAHM). Don't know what I'm saying really, just feel very vulnerable and a bit scared. I suppose I feel like I've got no sense of control ( I'm a control freak) and I feel like the tug could be pulled out from underneath me and there's fuck all I can do about it. The kids are so demanding, I feel so exhausted most of the time.

He is not a nasty man, I have access to money, he is kind, wonderful dad etc. can someone help me, sorry it's a bit jumbled.

Sorry for typos

As he is kind and wonderful why do you not talk to him - if you don't know how just show him this post? Or get a babysitter and go out for a meal and discuss it?

Hopefully can feel less shattered then too...

Did you have a career before the children. Lets face it with two DC together you are IN IT TOGETHER, so there must be space to talk, albeit I would advise you do it when at least you have had some sleep. Could you go for a long walk together with the DC maybe if you have to and get some fresh air and just ponder over your options. You will feel more secure the more options you have. Marriage alone does not make women feel secure, it is truly your job to look at what you can do yourself to make you feel less vulnerable, even if it means looking to the future, and getting back to your job or planning a fresh start when the children are older.

You can't just drift and put yourself at the mercy of DP, you are in this together and he sounds great, so just open up and talk things through. If you can't do this then you might just be working out why you feel vulnerable.

Get some longer term plans in place, and get yourself some rest when you can as it will help you put things into perspective.