Birthday - what to get a lady

[Leedsboy]

I have started chatting to a lady I met through online dating, exchanged photos etc and we get on well. Same age etc (40). We are nearly 300 miles apart but will meet up when I am in her area in early May.

But it's her birthday a couple of weeks before that and apart from sending a bunch of flowers am not sure what to get her. She said expensive but is not on Facebook so I don't know what she likes or is into without giving the game away.

Would like to make it worthwile as she is a widow who has been treated badly by men and feels quite relaxed with me so it may develop. But does anyone have any advice?

It?s sweet but I?m not sure it?s best to get her anything at all as you?ve not even met. Just email/text her ?happy birthday? on the day. How long have you been chatting? Be interesting to hear what the other posters reckon.

Umm.... She asked for "expensive"

Red flags all over this one, sorry.... Although, for your sake, I hope she is a 'lady' and not some hairy man called Alan or worse.

"She said expensive"

hahaha

ArtVandelay -some hairy man called Alan or worse..... Nigel?

Brian?

Always bearing in mind that you haven't met her yet... and you only know what she's told you which may or may not be accurate...

And I'm presuming she said to get her an expensive present as a joke or I've totally misinterpreted your post.

And realistically the chance of anything substantial developing given the distance between the two of you is quite remote.

I think even a bunch of flowers may be slightly over the top given all of the above!

Sorry Leeds

I think you should just meet up and see how it goes. That way you aren't spending your money on Alan or even a nice lady who you don't actually have a spark with in real life. Its a big risk if you are only going on IMs and some still photos. My second point is that (as a normal and genuine person) if a man I didn't know sent me something that cost ????? I would shit myself and think I'd attracted a stalker. One of the big 'red flags' that women (should) watch out for early in a relationship is inappropriately costly gifts and 'prince charming' type behaviour. Even if the man is not a nutter its still a bit Swiss Tony and off putting. Good luck with your meet-up :)

I wouldn't expect a present either, leedsboy. Hope you like each other

Thanks for all that, I'm sure she's genuine (talked plenty) but wasn't too keen to send expensive present. For her birthday night out she is hitting the town with a friend in Birmingham and invited me. I am not keen on that, big weekend commitment from 300 miles away.

Thought flowers would be okay and non-committal but nice to send. But I agree an expensive present from someone you haven't met sounds a bit presumptious.

My advice would be, send nowt till you've met up. And don't rush to meet up either.

Hopefully she was joking when she said expensive

If you haven't even met her yet why would you buy her anything (including flowers)

Just send a text saying "Happy Birthday"

I agree gay.....she requested expensive (!!!) , she sounds high maintenance. Wouldnt bother.

As you haven't yet met this woman it would be presumptious for her to ask or for you to send her a gift for her birthday, or any other day for that matter.

To show that you've taken the trouble to remember her birthday, use your usual means of communication to send her a greeting on the day.

Providing she is a real 'lady', save the flowers until after you've met her and demonstrate that you are a true gentleman by sending them the day after your meeting.

No one asks for an 'expensive' present from a virtual stranger.Be careful please-a card is fine flowers lovely but no more :)

Well now you've gone down the present conversation route you will have to get her something if you keep chatting to her, but I agree a £20 bunch of flowers will suffice!

Though if she wasn't joking about an 'expensive' present then she is a rude, grabby, materialistic, high maintenance arse. So I wouldn't bother.