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Original poster

I'm 30, he's 21 - can it work?

29 replies

cumbria81 · 27/03/2012 14:03

Just that really

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 27/03/2012 14:04

No idea but do try it and report back.

Original poster
cumbria81 · 27/03/2012 14:07

it's worked for four months but my mother is up in arms about it and making me question everything

OP posts:
BuckBuckMcFate · 27/03/2012 14:07

I was 26, DP was 19 when we got together.

Been together nine and a half years now.

All depends on what sort of 21 year old he is.

Original poster
cumbria81 · 27/03/2012 14:09

He is very mature and has his own business. I did think he was older when we first met.

The only times I feel the age gap are with some of his mates, when I can feel myself tutting like an old bag

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 27/03/2012 14:14

DH was 19 and I was 25 when we met. We married when he was 21 and I was 27.
Married 23 years this year.

It depends on your personalities. That's it really.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/03/2012 14:14

Depends on what you both want out of the relationship - but that's true whether or not there's an age-gap. I expect your mother is (not unreasonably) assuming that a very young man wants a different lifestyle to an older woman. Only you know if she's got a point.

HotBurrito1 · 27/03/2012 14:15

I read somewhere that hetero 10 year age gap relationships are far more commonly successful when the woman is the older one. Not that you are old op.

MissFaversham · 27/03/2012 14:16

Just suck it and see at the moment OP.

soicanfight · 27/03/2012 14:27

My DS1 is 24 and his partner is 38.
She is just 2 years younger than me,with 2 DD's by her ex.
They have been together 5yrs,and now have a DD together.
They are very happy,so i'm happy too.
So yes it can work.
Good luck

rubycon · 27/03/2012 14:29

I was 33, he was 21. We married.

I was 56, he was 44 when he decided I was too old and went to live with someone 12 years younger than him.

2 years on and I'm now very happily divorced and living with DP who is 6 years younger than me.

NicholasTeakozy · 27/03/2012 14:34

When I was 19 I was seeing a 34 year old woman who had a 15 year old daughter. It ended after about 8 months because I wasn't grown up ready to move in with anyone else. I lived on my own at the time, and loved the freedom. Sometimes I do wonder 'what if'. Come to think of it, my next gf was 28, I was 20. That lasted about two and a half years, then she dumped me. :o I see her occasionally, we always say hi and have a brief catch up.

4aminsomniac · 27/03/2012 17:06

I am fond of saying, to people who comment on the large age gap between DH and I, that people are more important than numbers!

EmptyBotheredPocket · 27/03/2012 17:10

I'm just 22 (last week) DH is 33 in a couple of months. It works really well :) We get on really and are the best of friends. Age is just a number.

I hope it works out for you.

EmptyBotheredPocket · 27/03/2012 17:15

*Really well

Pippa5l · 27/03/2012 17:23

Im 50, my 'boyfriend' is 40. There was 9 years between my ex and I. To me its never made a difference though you have to make sure they are not going to badger you about having kids because that was my experience. Im over that, my boyfriends has 3 kids of his own, I have one, he doesnt feel the need for any more. Happy days.

Newtothisstuff · 27/03/2012 17:26

I'm 31 and my DH is 23 I was a bit nervous when we first met and he had just turned 20 but everything works well Smile

noddyholder · 27/03/2012 17:26

I tut at dp's mates and he is older than me. I like younger men they last longer in the sack Shock

kelly14 · 27/03/2012 18:59

i have a friend i met when emigrated to sydney, we had both split from our partners (and father of children) she had 2 kids with her husband, now 5 and 7.

she is 37 and he is 21, they been together a year, not spoke to her in about 6 months (i am back in uk for now) so no idea if still together but she wanted more kids and him to be there all the time but he wanted to travel and have fun and didnt like being there when kids playing up.

You can only try :)

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern · 27/03/2012 19:35

My brother was 22 when he got married so sil would have been 33. They have been married gosh 21 years now and are extremely happy. My brother was a mature 22 year old and it's worked out well for them.

GetTheeToANunnery · 27/03/2012 20:01

I was 18 when I met DP who was 26, we're coming up to 5 years together now and we're very happy.

It does depend on whether is mature for his age.

NicholasTeakozy · 27/03/2012 20:51

GetThee has reminded me of meeting the mother of my DCs. I was 24, she was 161/2 and we were a couple for 12 years. We're still friends now.

nappymaestro · 27/03/2012 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PattyPenguin · 27/03/2012 21:34

My husband is 9 years younger than me. We started going out when I was coming up to 32 and he was 23, married four years later and are still married. A friend of mine in the same group of people was 30 when she started going out with a 21 year old, and they're still married, too.

PattyPenguin · 27/03/2012 21:42

Should probably have mentioned how long we've been married - 22 years, so together 26. (Have now well and truly outed my age.) Other couple have been together the same length of time.

squeakytoy · 27/03/2012 21:47

One of my best friends is 50 this year. Her husband is 36. They have a ten year old child, and have been together for 16 years.

I was seeing a 20 year old when I was 30... but we split up due to reasons not relating to the age difference at all. We are still friends.