If you own your own house and he moves in?

[lop37]

How do you sort out the finances? I have a mortgage on my house,monthly payments are comparable with rental property of the same size. I lived with exp for 3 yrs in my house, he initially agreed to pay half of all bills, including mortgage, but became increasingly resentful about paying for something that was not his. He was not in a position to take out a mortgage in his name due to a patchy work history. The house was on the market the whole time he lived with me, but as is the case with many, I am in negative equity, and have been unable to sell. Was I wrong to think that him paying half was fair?

DP is technically the lodger, because my mum helped me buy - she owns half, before dp I rented the spare room to mates - so, yes, he pays approximately half of the total cost. He uses half the utilities, therefore pays half the monthly bills.

We've lived together for two years, have joint finances and I'm currently unemployed so technically he pays for pretty much everything at the moment

It was before we were married and we joint own our own house now but..,

He paid half the bills only. I was cynical and didn't ever want him having a claim on my house if we split up so I didn't take mortgage money from him. I could afford the mortgage before he moved in so I didn't need him to pay toward it and preferred to protect my future interests.

I think it's fair because it's equivalent of him paying rent to the owner.

Or would he expect a roof for free?

Ah, see, my mortgage comes to slightly more than half the amount other flats in the block go for. So our contributions are equal (ish) thank you, mummy

lop37, in my opinion it is fair that he is paying half of the "rental value" of the house. As Lueji says, does he expect to live there for free and you paying for everything?

Oh, and he should pay half of the council tax too, which should have gone up 25% from the moment he moved in with you.

My DP lived with his previous F for 12 years. she owned her house when he moved in, he paid half the bills and he paid what rent would be. They moved house a couple of times, and he helped out alot with DiY. When they split up he said that he would never have tried to lay claim to any of the house, as it had been hers to start with, and he would have had to pay rent wherever he lived, and he hadnt been interested in making money out of property, or they would have joined wages and gone for a bigger mortgage together. He viewed it as her savings and investment, and if he hadnt been living there paying the rent then she would have had a lodger.

Thanks for your replies, I have been thinking about it alot, it became a really big issue. We split for a variety of reasons, but this would cause a row every month!He never paid for any maintenance costs, i wouldn't have expected him to. However his mother felt I was out of order, too! Though she let him live at home for free!!

You DP sounds nice Nettle Tea!!

When I moved into DPs house he continued to pay the mortgage and bills just as before and just as her would have to do if I hadn't moved in. However I bought all the food and petrol, which equated to about half of what he paid out, as I earnt about half of what he did. Seemed fair.

Not really, Bigus. You were investing your money in food; he was investing his money in his home. If you split up, you have nothing and he has his house and more money, since he's not paid for food or petrol all that time.

When DP and I moved in together he started paying half of everything, well actually he 'tips up' all of his wages and we pay it all into my bank account, and split everything as we see fit.

Shortly after he moved in we started looking for our own house together, but again bought that only in my name (because he was still married and we didn't want it to be classed as a marital asset - just to make it clear he had been seperated for years before we met they just never bothered to divorce). The intention was to put it into joint names after he was divorced but we never got round to it, we probably will leave it in my name untill we move again TBH.

DP has always said he is not bothered by any of this, he is happy to pay his way and mine should it ever be needed, and if we did split would walk away and consider the money he spent as rent. Even more so now as we have a child, he sees it as paying the mortgage off for her, as it will all be hers anyway one day.

It works for us, and I have to say it mainly works for me as its all tipped in my favour. DP is so laid back about money he is horizontal, I on the other hand am not, and had our situation been reversed I would have made sure my name was on the mortgage, or that a legal note of my financial input was made.

My DP lives in 'my' flat. He pays just under half the mortgage and bills (he earns a bit more than me and we split it proportionally). There was never a suggestion it would ever be otherwise! As all the bills/mortgage etc are in my name and come out of my bank account, it was easier to leave it that way and he puts money into my account each month by direct debit. When we go on to buy somewhere together in a few years it will be jointly in both our names. And we're going to set up a joint account soon, but we never seem to quite get around to it!