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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Those of you who ever felt humiliated by your parents when you were a child...

42 replies

mszebra · 03/02/2006 20:43

what did they do? Give me an example?

OP posts:

moondog · 04/02/2006 22:57

Cerrrringe VVV!!!
Your poor,poor brother.

SHHHH · 04/02/2006 22:57

yeah it was quite insensitive but tbh I don't think my mum always thinks about what she is saying before she speaks! Still ing though..!!

blueteddy · 04/02/2006 23:00

Message withdrawn

MrsBadger · 04/02/2006 23:05

Hissing 'You're making an exhibition of yourself!' to my sister and me.
Even if no-one had noticed whatever we were doing before, they could hardly miss the humiliated tears that would inevitabley follow.

ScummyMummy · 04/02/2006 23:06

when my mum showed off the apology letter I had to write her for making a girl at school cut my hair to all her friends.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2006 23:10

My mum used to get me to say "Apricot" to everyone when i was small because apparently i said it so "neicely".

Oh, and i once said "ice cream and chocolate sauce" in an american accent when i was about 5 and she used to make me say that to all and sundry too.

colditz · 05/02/2006 00:12

My dad taking me and my friend to Wales on holiday (the rest of the family was there too) and he just screamed at me to shut up, shut up, shut up, every time I opened my mouth to speak, all the way there. I was 17! My poor friend was terrified, we had to get the train back as she refuse to get in the car with him again.

colditz · 05/02/2006 00:13

My dad pulling me indoors by my hair in front of my friends, and shouting at me in front of my friends.

WideWebWitch · 05/02/2006 00:18

Zebra, if it makes you feel any better, we have recently put 8yo ds in the garden because
a. he was being violent towards us, unacceptable
b. he could get back in from halland was perfectly capable of running outside front door into road
c. he was warned and it was all v calm
d. he could come back in the minute he behaved
I don't think it was humiliation, he is too big to be restrained and he can make it so we cannot remove him or ourselves and dd from the situation. I knew he was safe and there was no humiliation involved, just a calm warning and then follow through. Bet lots of people think it's awful but this is a child in a garden, safely removed from a situation imo, not abuse. HTH.

Meanoldmummy · 05/02/2006 00:23

I don't know about anyone else but when I referred on another thread to being thrown out of the house, I didn't mean locked out for a short time, safely, in order to control unacceptable behaviour. I meant being screamed and spat at, made to pack my stuff into boxes at the age of eleven and driven down to my dad's house, and dumped with all my belongings in the garden in the rain, because he was out celebrating New Year's Eve. Then being collected and driven home again in total silence an hour later because she changed her mind.

I don't think putting a naughty child in the garden to calm down is in the same league. I can't imagine anyone really thinking that's cruel or humiliating.

mandieb · 05/02/2006 00:42

Yeah but its not so good if you live in a flat . LOL

alexsmum · 05/02/2006 00:46

i too have have put ds in the garden when having a mega tantrum so it's not just you!

octavia · 05/02/2006 08:42

Pulling my pants down at a family gathering and smacking me because I told my (perfect) sister to shut up
telling my granddad & uncles that I'd started my periods
thats it for now to painful

Meanoldmummy · 05/02/2006 11:01

Poor octavia I know what that's like. B@stards. At least your kids won't have to know how it feels to be shamed like that.

Caligula · 05/02/2006 11:13

My Dad appearing in the park and shouting at me (I was about 13) in front of everyone there because I'd come to the park to play and hadn't come back home sufficiently early to look after my younger brother (who was about 3) while my mother was at work, meaning that he was disturbed while watching TV.

compo · 05/02/2006 11:16

My mum used to say to her frinds "her brace has given her a bit of a lisp" in a mimicking way supposedly in the lispy voice I was making...

Bugsy2 · 05/02/2006 11:34

stop showing off
you think you know it all
hitting me around the leg with a wooden spoon from the gravy saucepan and not allowing me to change my tights
making me go into town in hideously unattractive jodphurs and riding boots
making me wear extremely unattractive outfits
hitting me with household implements
randomly picking me up from parties for some perceived bad behaviour
making visits from my friends a misery by forcing me to sit with her and talk to her because it was not acceptable behaviour to "just" play with my friends and ignor her
I could go on & on and on.
mszebra, looking your raging child in the back garden is not humiliating. I have done this with my ds too, it was not humiliating him, it was simply time out. Humiliating your child is choosing to belittle them and make them feel small & inadequate. Time out does not do this, it just gives everyone an opportunity to calm down.

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