breaking hearts...longggggg

[rhibutterfly]

I pretty much know what needs to be done, just looking for opinions, fresh eyes on situation, unbiased advice etc.
I got back together with my DP 4 weeks ago after 4 and half month break up, DD 6 really happy he's back as he did not maintain contact while apart( not her bio-dad)i'm also 6months pregnant with DD2.We broke up because of argument about his drinking which escalated into him accusing me of carrying on with other men etc after i had already warned him time and again i wouldn't stay with him if he didn't trust me.He must have told his parents the baby not his as his dad asked about dna test.
anyway i obviously blanked out all the other problems in the relationship and they've reared their ugly heads again, he is a compulsive liar ,keeps offering stuff but never delivering, to me ,my daughter, my mum etc so he's letting everyone down ,he's in the pub most days, but borrowing money off me , i'm really struggling financially at the moment cos i'm off work with PGP(pelvic girdle pain)it's come to the point now where if i don't tackle him over this it'll carry on forever, have not had a penny off him towards baby items etc, when it just the two of us he is so loving and keeps telling me he loves me more than he's ever loved before and how depressed he was when we split first time.
my biggest worry is my DD, i'll break her heart again if i break up with DP and i'm afrraid he'll do something stupid if i do too.

You cannot run your life on what you think will make your 6yo happy. She will also be happy with a mum who is not constantly upset, struggling, worried, and being pissed about by a bloke who is an arsehole!

You are the grown up here. You know what is best for the future, not just for her, but for the new baby and for yourself.

You say yourself he is constantly letting your daughter down... 6yo's are resilient and she will cope without him, if that is what you would rather have.

Anyone can say "I love you", showing it, and proving it, are a different matter entirely. As the saying goes, "actions speak louder than words", and from what you are saying, his actions are not the ones of a good bet for a happy future.

I bet he loves you:

"so he's letting everyone down ,he's in the pub most days, but borrowing money off me , i'm really struggling financially at the moment cos i'm off work with PGP(pelvic girdle pain)it's come to the point now where if i don't tackle him over this it'll carry on forever, have not had a penny off him towards baby items etc"

Your dd will be more unhappy and insecure with you in this so called relationship. Why on earth did you back pedal and let him back in, it gave her another complication to deal with. Give her stability and continuity, you know whats right, you know that this is not what you want for your dd, your baby and you. Deal with it and stick to your decision.

thank you ladies, we had "the talk" this morning, usual promises of change were made, things will be different blah blah then he hung up when he realised i was sticking to my guns, no mention off him of the children so i'm guessing he's walking away from them cos he not getting his way, i feel so much relief now though, definitely made right decision, wait for the dreaded question off DD now xx

Oh well done.

Who needs to financially support a man with no sense of responsibility, who sponges off you, and who disowns his kids if he cant get cash of their mum.

The rest of your life can only go up from here.

And he will get less chance to fuck up either of your girls.

x

thank you fiventhree xx

well well done, good for you and here's to your happy little family!

OP, show him the door and this time for good sweetheart.

thank you all, a few days of bitter abusive texts now and i should be free xxx

Well he seems to have shown his true colours. Every time he took money from you he was just using you, that is not love, he will already be looking for someone else to pick up the pieces for him.

You have definately made the right decision. Be strong.